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3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012

3 Second Movie Reviews

3 Second Movie Reviews: 2/9/2012

Welcome to Adventures in Poor Taste’s weekly movie review roundup. I’ll be posting a slathering of movie reviews each week to give folks a healthy helping of what’s good and not so good. New and old, the reviews cover anything from the pleasantly innocent Winnie The Pooh to disturbingly twisted Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom.

In Theaters Now

The Grey (January 2012)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
Neeson brings nips to a knife fight.

Man, versus wild, versus Liam Neeson. The film is intense in every way be it a plane crash, death, or meditations on life itself. A really good film about survival. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a plane crash scene this good. Go into this film blind. The trailers mislead the audience into thinking this is a full on Neeson versus wolves brawl.

Grade: A-

Recently Released on Disc

Contagion (September 2011)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012These posters are totally ripping off Soderbergh’s Traffic. To think I thought Hollywood only wanted to do original things. WARNING this sarcasm may kill infants or the sickly.

Probably the best epidemic film ever due to the overall structure and intensity of the film. The great cast is what makes the characters compelling at all and don’t expect to like these people beyond their faces. The movie focuses more on the disease that can send the world into anarchy and does it with an incredible sense of urgency. Its failings with character can be overlooked.

Grade: B+

50/50 (September 2011)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
Guess which one has cancer. You have a 50/50 chance. BAHAHAHA!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt can do no wrong as he’s at once powerful and moving in this flick. The movie pivots perfectly between humor and its tough topic of cancer. Anjelica Huston gives the movie powerful resolve.

Grade: A-

30 Minutes or Less (August 2011)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012

Let me save you the time. This entire film was built around a clever idea that lasts for 1 minute an hour into the film. A pizza delivery man who needs to quickly deliver pizza’s can feasibly escape cops in a high speed car chase. The rest of the movie is half baked and boring.

Grade: D

Cowboys and Aliens (July 2011)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
Olivia Wild is the best thing about this film and you never see her naked. Your argument is invalid.

This is a classic example of a film that shouldn’t be taking itself as seriously as it does. Instead of being a bombastic dumb action flick it presumes to assume we’ll care about characters that aren’t given any purpose or humanity. It’s also riddled with plot holes.

Grade: F

Oldy, But Goody?

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
The true origin story of Ghost Rider.

Gasland (January 2010)

A decent documentary, but when you’re documentarian is admitting to not being a good detective you’re in a bad place. A lot of this film is filled with the director showing off the beauty of America, which isn’t bad but doesn’t serve his argument. Probably why it didn’t win best documentary, but it was nominated for good reason. When chemicals leach into the water supply and can catch fire, and politicians do nothing? Scary thing.

Grade: B

The Last Circus (September 2010)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
Sadly, this film is far less bat s--t crazy as this image implies.

Two clowns during Fascist Spain deal with their emotions by going nuts-o for very little reasons. Don’t expect horror, but expect some dark laughs in this very Telemunodo style soap opera. It has far too many quiet moments, not enough action and a few frustrating plot holes.

Grade: C

Tabloid (September 2010)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
Once Diane’s sex tape was released the tabloids had a field day. The headline read “Pug Tugged, Used Plug.”

This documentary does everything in halves. It half shows an obsessive personality, half presents a compelling story and gives us half an ending by showing only one side. Probably could fit into 30 minutes if it didn’t revel in the littlest tabloid developments.

Grade: C+

Prick Up Your Ears (May 1987)

3 Second Movie Reviews:  2/9/2012
This is the perfect film for any of you who wished to see Commissioner Gordan’s leather and hot pants phase.

It’s interesting to review Gary Oldman’s acting ability at this age, as he plays through the life and violent death of British playwright Joe Orton. The film is a bit drab and uninteresting at times, but it does a great job with the characters. Particularly making Ken, Oldman’s boyfriend also played by the Doctor Octopus actor, a human being and not a soulless villain.

Grade: B-

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