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AEW Dynamite recap: November 20, 2019

Pro Wrestling

AEW Dynamite recap: November 20, 2019

A weekly stream of consciousness from an NXT fan turned AEW diehard.

Well, well, well, look who’s back. It has been a while, my friends, but I have returned with my foul-mouthed and poorly written reviews of an exciting wrestling program, but this time, thankfully, it’s not a WWE product.

Dating back to the second Saudi Arabia event, I cancelled my subscription to the WWE Network. I was sick of being distracted by all the real world bullshit that they were engaging in as it made it virtually impossible for me to assume kayfabe and just watch some goddamn rasslin’. So, I searched for other stuff to watch and dipped in and out of some things, always obviously following WWE storylines and backstage goings on but not watching Raw or SmackDown and basically giving up on NXT. That happened because I started to accept that the pattern was a reality of a top notch star being “called up” and then WWE creative sh*tting the bed with them, so I didn’t want to see what happened when Ricochet and Aleister Black got called up and when I saw that they were put together as a tag team my greatest fears were realized. These motherf*ckers just don’t get it anymore.

I’ll spare you the rest of it all, but suffice to say, AEW has been a breath of fresh air. I have watched all but one PPV, watched every episode of Dynamite, went to the second live television event in Boston, bought a Kenny Omega shirt and have been very outgoing with promoting AEW and trying to get back a small handful of other lapsed fans who liked WCW back in the 90s. To be clear, I was always a WWF guy back in the day, but I loved the nWo and Chris Jericho so I watched WCW very seriously. For what it’s worth, AEW hits all the chords that WCW did but even better now that I am a “smart mark,” an adult, and also WWE is offering such dogsh*t on a weekly basis that, NXT aside, I have no legitimate interest in what they have on TV currently outside of Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan. And Brock. Whatever. WWE is like cigarettes in that once you have smoked, you will probably always have a cigarette every now and again. So s----y. Well, with all that out of the way, I am going to participate in the Wednesday Night Wars on behalf of the 18-49 demographic from the north east of the USA. Let’s f*cking party!

Dynamite starts off with what is certain to be a sick match, Fenix vs. Nick Jackson. I’ve never seen either of the Bucks as a solo act, but I can imagine it should be doable. I appreciate how Dynamite has seemed to come with a hot start for each and every episode so far. When JR, Excalibur and Tony Ski-A-Vone were running down the card for this week’s show, I realized that I forgot about Mox and Darby! So far this match has ben a lot of posturing but as I write that they both step up and work some of the more exciting jumping on and off ropes until WHAM Fenix hits a cutter on the floor…yuck!

While I enjoy how the Bucks are so good at selling injuries and they do perform some wild maneuvers, they almost always seem to be wrestling injured within two minutes of any given match. Holy hell, these bastards just did some bouncing on the ropes whilst holding hands sh*t that I have never seen before! It’s a lot of fun watching half of a killer tag match right now as a singles match. The crowd is absolutely on the hook for this show tonight which is a good sign as far as the vibes go. I felt like Boston was pretty dead inside the arena but it looked and sounded awesome on TV and I also had the experience of being there, live, with the AIPT crew, sans commentary, full of edible and vaporized goodness.

HOLY SH*T, Nick Jackson does a very slow motion but still full contact German suplex to Fenix right on the hardest part of the ring. I hate that those spots are almost standard now. Slick Nick Jackson hit a nasty Canadian Destroyer on Fenix and this seemed over but they kept ripping for a little longer until Fenix hits Nick with his suplex into a powerbomb thing and it’s over! Nice finish, fun match. At the end Fenix refuses to shake hands with Uncle Nick. Ah well. Decent start. I must admit, at this point, I am slightly curious what’s on NXT but even though I don’t have a Nielsen box I am keeping my cable box tuned to TNT from 8-10 live on Wednesday nights until I’m proven otherwise by The Elite.

Up next is Britt Baker DMD vs Hikaru Shida, and with this I am looking forward to a high quality wrestling match. The women’s division to this point has been underwhelming, but there is so much potential that I don’t mind to let it build while we are all being focused on the Inner Circle, The Elite, etc. Britt Baker’s finisher is called the Lockjaw and the fact that she is a dentist all the days that she isn’t a wrestler is kind of the best thing ever. A lot of people have been tough on the women’s division as a whole and her in particular as that she is green all the way to that she should have been the first champ. It will be cool to have people have a nice journey to becoming a champion, not unlike Brandi Rhodes’ path to the title via Awesome Kong. I wonder if AEW loses actual revenue from their advertisers by running a split screen or whatever, but it is a smart move and a short term price to pay on Tony Khan’s end to keep those of us who are curious about the other channel on TNT. Britt Baker gets a bloody nose during the commercial break and while it’s not a crimson mask, she does look more badass and definitely more aggravated but focused. AEW has about a six month window where they can feed me sh*t and I will continue to politely watch it, but there definitely is only so much I will tolerate at this point/age. Jesus, after a pair of Kinshasa-like knee strikes to the head, Shida gets the 1-2-3 and Britt takes another L. Huh. Kind of a whatever match.

A Dark Order explainer vignette plays and I am in the minority of people who absolutely love this gimmick. This package is already top notch. #JoinDarkOrder! That just looked like a f*cking Disney+ ad! Awesome. It had nothing to do with Stu or Evil Uno and I loved it. Basically, it was “Join the Dark Order. We are a place for cool people.” The idea of the Dark Order as a cult is amazing and I can’t wait for more.

Dynamite Dozen Battle Royale starts off with debatably the most confused character on the entire AEW roster, Hangman Adam Page. Folks may not have noticed but in the lead up to the launch of AEW, when they ran video packages of why you should care about Page, he talked about growing up on a farm…a TOBACCO FARM. Yeah, so, this guy is telling me that his wrestling school was paid for by the death of thousands of people to smoking….huh…and how was your first Camaro paid for? From countless cans of Skoal sold from your f*cking TOBACCO FARM?? …anyways, F*CK Adam Page. He is a tobacco farmer so he is a heel. End of discussion. While the break goes on, everyone else comes to the ring and holy hell this is a who’s who of the mid card…Marco Stunt, Jungle Boy, Pentagon, Jimmy Havoc, Joey Janela, Chuck Taylor, Sonny Kiss, MJF!!…I’m sure I missed a few but it won’t matter.

Oh, yeah, I forgot one big one: Billy Gunn. Weird. I don’t mind. He looks incredible. I do/don’t like how these battle royales start with all the dudes in the ring at the beginning to start. It definitely cuts to the chase. Okay, so on the first commercial break where they don’t have picture-in-picture I’m peeking at USA…it’s a commercial and I flip back. Well I don’t feel like I give a crap about this battle royale thing at all, especially as it’s just for a diamond ring…that said, I did just notice that Orange Cassidy is officially in this match so I’m back in. Turns out Janela was eliminated during the commercial thanks to Shawn Spears with a a chair. Billy Gunn totally told MJF to suck his dick and then gave him a Fame-Asser.

Oh, Kip Sabian is one of the final four…Excalibur just tells me that Hangman took himself out of The Elite on the most recent BTE….what a moron…that said, The Elite did just become that much better now that they aren’t rolling with a goddamned tobacco farmer. Page eliminates Billy Gunn and the crowd almost feels as disgusted with Marlboro Man as I do. After some minor f*ckery with Warldow, it looks like Jungle Boy and “The Most Underwhelming Guy in AEW” Adam Page are the last two and hence the winners, MJF comes up from outside the ring and pulls Jungle Boy off the apron and hops into the ring himself and claims the victory. What an assh*le. MJF is basically perfect.

Unfortunate timing as AEW goes to commercial as Jericho is walking around backstage, likely performing some high quality improv bits, walking around the backstage area with Jake Hager and his big-ass belt on his shoulder…Jericho is having some sort of exchange with Marco Stunt and then it just cut to full commercial. Lame. He also messes with the Librarian, who I absolutely love. It doesn’t matter, gang, I’m drinking this AEW Kool-Aid till its confirmed good or till I’m dead.

AM I EVIL? I don’t know, old guy, but I’ll listen to the Fozzy single Judas again while you come out. Man, he is such a dickweed. He has his long flowing hair and he is wearing a beautiful headband keeping his hair flawless. He is here to make a big announcement which I anticipate has something to do with his Rock and Wrestling Rager at Sea and an episode of Dynamite happening live on there…oh, ok, so he is having a tough time saying the word “sorry”…Big Hurt finishes the line for him…Every time Jericho can’t say the word he puts the mic up to Hager and he says “Sorry” and then smirks. Next week in Chicago, Jericho will finally get his “thank you”…he is calling it a “Thanksgiving Thank You Celebration”…Jericho is doing the “dump on a local sports team” bit and getting cheap heat just as SCU’s music hits and out come the three of them.

I started the tag tournament not caring about SCU, was stoked on them by the time they unexpectedly won the titles and now I already don’t care again. Scorpio Sky calls out how he got the first pin on Jericho last week and the crowd chants “YOU GOT PINNED” at Jericho…Le Champion legit looks like he is gonna sh*t a brick. The Melanie Parson lines are pretty outstanding…Scorp’s high school girlfriend wants to go on a date with him again…that’s a little more than LAME….”Cuter than Baby Yoda”….Jericho sounds drunk most of the time…Scorp reverse psychology’s a title match for next week and then threatens to turn “Le Champion into Le Bitch”. I think I like Scorpio Sky a lot but I’m confused by Daniels and how he is still wrestling and I just don’t think I care about Kaz.

The whole segment ends with a ton of wrestlers coming out to aid SCU and finally Marco comes out, gets leveled, Jungle Boy comes out, gets leveled and then Luchasausus comes out and gets in Hager’s face and hot DAMN I wanna see these big bastards slug it out! Dynamite has the split screen going during this commercial and it is showing Mox walking around backstage, stretching and then cuts to Darby, applying his half face of war paint. Man, I’m almost afraid of what they are gonna do to each other, especially after learning the news today that AEW has a trademark for “BLOOD AND GUTS.”

Aww man, during the commercial break I missed one of my favorite entrances, the Librarian Peter Avalon. Anyways, here comes a quick squash match between he and Luchasaurus and it was over before I finish f*cking up spelling his name.

Proud and Powerful are out next to face off against Private Party, aka Street Profits adjace. I think Montez and Dawkins have the bizarre benefit of all the screen time they had on Raw proving how f-----g funny and fun they are. These dudes are pretty great for sure, but I just don’t feel like I know who they are, y’know? Santana and Ortiz are f*cking assh*les, that’s their deal. I’m immediately sold on this match when Excalibur explains how this is a sort of dedication match for a common friend that both teams recently lost to a motorcycle accident, accented by the tribute T-shirt hung on the ring ropes.

It doesn’t take very long for Santana and Ortiz to get right to business. Commercial break cuts out a lot of this match and while there really isn’t much to speak of, there is one spot where Santana or Ortiz has Quen up for a suplex and then PnP proceed to tag each other in and swap him while his legs were straight up the whole time! WOW. So I think I may have answered my own question regarding getting less money to run ads with a picture-in-picture screen because this episode has absolutely had more ads than any other I’ve seen. They come back from commercial and Kassidy had gotten the hot tag and he is running the jewels on theses. I must say, as far as a team goes, when PnP are on they are ON and they seem like they are working as one creature and it’s really impressive to watch but next thing you know, as Ortiz grabs the tennis balls in a sock Nick Jackson comes out and swipes it from him, allowing enough distraction for Private Party to turn it around and its over. Great finish.

Kenny Omega has a video promo where he blames his lame run in AEW on his loss to Pac and then says some nonsensical sh*t about “the powers that be” and talks about it as if he isn’t an EVP in this company….that is the hardest part for me about this whole world, where four of the top talents in AEW are also suits for the company. Kenny talks about how he lost his mind but how he plans to hit the reset button and start again.

Up next is the main event, Darby Allin vs. Jon Moxley. Hell yeah. I like how much Justin Roberts seems to delight in hyping the crowd for the main event. Darby is carried out to the ring in a bodybag with “M O X” written on it, and then he comes out of the bodybag and skates down to the ring. Excellent. I love that Mox comes to the ring through the crowd. I am legitimately so happy for this guy that he is a showcase for a cool company — and as I write that Darby attacks Mox and even though there is no bell, this has begun!

They bash each other into the crowd, they flop around onto the floor around the ring and finally into the ring. Once the match starts there is a point where Darby tries to cross body from the top turnbuckle and Mox straight up no sells it and it’s great! Man, another goddamn commercial. Geez, Tony. This match is basically just Mox beating the piss out of Darby. Allin is such a good rag doll. This almost just looks like an uncle who really likes WWE beating the crap out of his 11 year old nephew. As an observation, I find did interesting how Mox has now wrestled multiple times in both camo pants AND essentially boxer brief spandex. Two totally different looks for a guy who hadn’t been able to be himself for the past 5-7 years. I am almost not enjoying this match anymore as it’s only so hardcore but it’s all Mox kicking the bag out of Darby. To that point, Mox grabs the bodybag, puts Darby in the bag, zips it up and then stomps the little f*cker. The crowd almost turned on Mox for that one! After a little back and forth, Allin gets caught from a Coffin Drop into a sleeper hold that he reverses into a cover, but it’s just a matter of time before Mox pulls off a never before achieved Paradigm Shift off the second turnbuckle and holy hell this kid is OUT. Great match.

As a part of my AEW watching experience, I typically switch over to NXT as they run past 10pm every single week and I will say, this is the second week in a row that they have had a ladder match as the main event but the main point is to say that Adam Cole (BAY BAY) just won AGAIN and he has managed to have the best two months of anyone in pro wrestling between all the time he has had on TV as well as having beat Daniel Bryan and essentially beating Seth Rollins. Too much stuff ends up happening in a huge schmozz ending as quite likely the best go home episode WWE will do this week for Survivor Series.

Watching the end of NXT or even seeing any of it on USA is so bittersweet, not unlike seeing an ex-girlfriend with a new dude. I have been so bummed out by the past three years’ worth of NXT callups to the main roster that I got to a point of disconnecting from it because it broke my heart to see perfect talents (number one with a bullet is Asuka) buried and booked into oblivion. It is a total drag and it’s almost even more of a drag because it would appear that NXT has been producing a very good show the past few months/ever since I stopped watching.

All of that said, I am ride-or-die for AEW right now until they prove me otherwise. Jericho is riding a fine line with me where he may become a sad and pathetic moron, but it’s more likely that the is working me on a meta level and that this whole thing may be the best work of his entire career today, including the Festival of Friendship. He still has a chance to blow it, as does AEW, but for now, I am thoroughly enjoying this alternative to WWE.

Wrestling Rules.

F*ck The World.

Party Hard..

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