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All Things All Elite: March 31, 2021

Pro Wrestling

All Things All Elite: March 31, 2021

Catch up on All Elite Wrestling Dark, Elevation, and Being The Elite before tonight’s Dynamite!

Good afternoon, my fellow All Elite Wrestling fans! We had a fairly good episode of Elevation — if only it wasn’t so long! Jurassic Express and Bear Country are building up a feud after a misunderstanding. Kenny is wandering around IMPACT, getting ready for his big match. Over on BTE, Cutler gives the Bucks a talking to. On Dark, Max Caster may have taken things a step too far by name dropping Hangman in a promo. Overall there was a lot going on, so let’s go over everything before tonight. As always, enjoy Dynamite tonight!

Being The Elite

  • Private Party seem to have hesitations about Butcher/Blade/Bunny. Matt Hardy tries to convince Private Party that BBB are fine. Kassidy asks Hardy how he was even able to get BBB on their side. 
  • Cut to BBB hanging out when Matt Hardy approaches and offers them a deal. They don’t seem interested, but Matt tells them he thinks he may have something, before returning as Broken Matt Hardy. Suddenly BBB is a lot more interested.
  • Cut back to the previous scene, where Private Party asks, “isn’t Broken Matt dead?’ Matt Hardy says no, he can become whoever he needs to be in the right situation. Then tells Private Party that he became Big Money Matt because he knew they would be marks for him if he was.
  • Matt Jackson brought his kids to Daily’s Place this week, and showed some clips of them having fun together.
  • Matt shows off all the stuff they got to build the skateboards they received a couple weeks ago. They enlist the help of some of the skaters on the roster to build the boards. Cage is surprisingly good at skateboarding.
  • Luchasaurus runs into Cezar Bononi, and has an awkward attempt at a handshake. Cezar asks if they should try to redo it. Luchasaurus says no, they just need to both leave the way they came from to avoid further confusion.
  • Marko Stunt complains to Griff Garrison that other people keep being “the first in AEW” to do something, so he decides he wants to be the first to break the Spanish announce table. Alex Abrahantes overhears and runs off.
  • Alex runs to warn the other Spanish announcers that the AEW roster is now aware of the Spanish announce table. Sasha says not to worry, she has weapons to fend off anyone who comes near. The announcers catch Marko walking by and chase him off.
  • The Dark Order and Hangman bemoan John Silver’s loss to Darby last week. They also ask what is up with Matt Hardy and complain that he’s such a jerk and so are BBB. Evil Uno transitions to break some big news. The doctor told him John Silver might need a new arm. The group doesn’t know what to do until Hangman suddenly thinks out loud and says “hey Five…. You’ve got arms….”
  • We have a Public Swole Announcement. Swole simply says, “The mask goes over your nose. I see you with it under your nose, you get popped.” Quick and to the point.
  • John Silver looks devastated as he walks in on the Dark Order, Five with his arm out ready to be cut off as Stu starts up a table saw. Silver says he doesn’t want Five’s little arm, he wants his little d*ck! Stu starts up the table saw again, the camera goes to the floor as a single piece of shrimp falls to the floor.
  • Speaking of phallic humor, we cut to the Good Brothers where Anderson has duct taped Gallow’s hands together to stop him from masturbating. Gallows is upset.
  • Cutler ices his knee after his loss on Dynamite. The Bucks tell him he was great out there and not to give up. Cutler looks at them confused and asks what happened. They used to be vicious and insult him all the time. Now they’re not at all like that. Nick says “you agree with Kenny and Don now?” Cutler replies “well they’re not wrong”. Cutler continues by saying BTE is now just The Dark Order’s show and implies they no longer are the best versions of themselves.

AEW Dark: Elevation

  • We start things off with Moxley cutting a promo saying he’s been jumped so much recently that he needs to make himself feel better. He plans on doing that by dropping someone on their head.
  • Chuck Taylor & Orange Cassidy def. Ryan Nemeth & JD Drake. After securing the victory, Miro, Kip, and Penelope came out. Kip says they’re out there to wish them luck. Miro says he wishes they survive having their spines ripped out.
  • Jon Moxley def. Bill Collier. Collier surprisingly did get some offense in but Moxley won with a piledriver followed up by choking him out. Afterwards, Moxley ruffled Collier’s hair, as if to say “good fight, buddy”.
  • Penelope Ford def. Leila Grey. Penelope got the win after simply dropping Leila on her knees. It was a simple win.
  • Gunn Club def. Rex Lawless & Milk Chocolate. Gunn Club was fast and hard, getting the win with their move ‘310 to Yuma’.
  • Thunder Rosa had an interview about her match with Britt. She thanked everyone for supporting her so much. She said she will continue to represent Latinas, which made Diamante come out to make clear that Thunder Rosa doesn’t represent her. Diamante continued by saying there was now a big target on Thunder Rosa’s back. Thunder Rosa said to bring it, any time, anywhere.
  • Joey Janala def. Chandler Hopkins. Joey had some good offense, had trouble putting Chandler away, at one point being way too cocky with one of his pins. He eventually got the win with a more traditional pin.
  • Dasha interviewed Jack Evans. Jack says he needs to have some coffee to prepare against “Jungle Dork”. He’s also disappointed that AEW put him in the ring with these “jurassic people”. Angélico dances in the background the entire time.
  • Thunder Rosa def. Alex Garcia. Lots of sequences showing the two were evenly matched but Thunder Rosa eventually took control and got the win.
  • Leyla Hirsch def. Vipress. Vipress was able to injure Leyla’s arm which caused a lot of issues, but Leyla was able to eventually land three suplexes and then get Vipress to tap.
  • Frankie Kazarian def. Danny Limelight. Frankie got Danny to tap. Afterwards, Christian came out, continuing the little bit of heat that has started up between the two. Christian clapped for Frankie, and words were exchanged.
  • Ethan Page def. Fuego Del Sol. Fuego once again kept trying to hit the tornado DDT but couldn’t. Ethan Page did the classic “pulling up at a two count” but was still able to get the win with a very cocky cover.
  • Tay Conti & Shida def. Jasmin Allure & Tesha Price. Dark Order came out with Tay and Shida. Jasmine and Tesha put on some surprisingly good offense with some manic energy that was fun to watch. Tay won with her DDT. All four of these women were great and I’m excited to see more of Jasmine and Tesha. 
  • Jungle Boy def. Jack Evans. The two seemed relatively equal. Some good exchanges while Angélico argued with Luchasaurus and Marko Stunt ringside. Jack looked like he was going to win, but Jungle Boy was able to counter and win with a snare trap. It was a good, long match.
  • QT Marshall & Lee Johnson def. Adam Priest & Aaron Frye. QT won with the cutter.
  • Ryo Mizunami def. KiLynn King. KiLynn and Ryo had some friendly back and forth. KiLynn was surprised by Ryo being able to take a shoulder tackle. Ryo won with a spear followed by a leg drop from the top rope.
  • Dark Order’s Five & Ten def. D3 & Vary Morales. Ten got the win with a Full Nelson.
  • Dasha congratulates Ethan Page on his win. Ethan says he’s surprised he’s been mostly ignored since joining AEW. He says he had a good conversation with someone today (hmm, wonder who that could be?). He says he isn’t going to be like AEW, and he won’t overlook the talent. So he leaves to go watch the matches.
  • Bear Country talk a little bit about themselves. The two of them were both doing singles work when they decided to tag together. The two men talk about their goals in life: to make money and make their families proud. They talk about how they were doubting themselves during the pandemic until AEW called.
  • Private Party def. Bear Country. Bear Country brought the heavy hits and were able to isolate Marq Quen for a long time. Matt Hardy tried to distract Aubrey but Marko Stunt came out to help. But it was enough time for Kassidy to get the pin. Bear Country seem to have misunderstood what happened and attacked Marko after the match. The rest of Jurassic Express came out.
  • Scorpio Sky def. Mike Sydal. Scorpio hit Sydal’s leg and put him in a hold, forcing him to tap. Afterwards Matt Sydal ran out to break up Scorpio’s hold. Ethan Page then came out to help Scorpio. Scorpio and Ethan Page walk out together.

AEW Dark

  • The Butcher & The Blade def. Milk Chocolate
  • Madi Wreskowski def. Jazmin Allure
  • Chaos Project def. Dean Alexander and Justin Law
  • Angelico def. Sonny Kiss
  • Max Caster cut a promo against Alex Ryenolds saying he took down Ten last week. He called out multiple other Dark Order members including Hangman, which I’m sure will come back to bite him in the coming weeks.
  • Dark Order (Evil Uno, Stu Grayson and Colt Cabana) def. Vary Morales, Bill Collier and D3
  • Jurassic Express (Marko Stunt and Luchasaurus) def. Adam Priest & KC Navarro
  • Diamante def. Vipress
  • Team Taz def. Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott, & Chandler Hopkins
  • Big Swole, Red Velvet & KiLynn King def. Ashley Vox, Delmi Exo & Vertvixen
  • Michael Nakazawa def. Mike Magnum. A fun comedy match in which Michael wore the headset he wears backstage. He kept getting tips from it as he went.
  • Miro & Kip Sabian (w/ Penelope Ford) def. Baron Black and John Skyler
  • Max Caster def. Alex Reynolds. Caster went to use his boombox, but John Silver stopped him. This was enough of a distraction though for Caster to end up picking up a win.

Twitter Happenings and Misc

  • On IMPACT, Don, Kenny, and the Good Brothers are watching the IMPACT tag champions over at NJPW. Don is excited but Kenny isn’t impressed. The Good Brothers seem to ruffle some of Kenny and Don’s feathers.
  • Don and Kenny wander around backstage and come across Bravo placing bets for the Omega/Rich Swann match. The odds are currently one/one. Don and Kenny seem a bit offended. Don places $20,000 on Kenny.
  • Bear Bronson continues the misunderstanding from Elevation, tweeting at Marko Stunt.
  • Jungle Boy adds to the heat of the two group’s new feud.
  • Isiah Kassidy wants to make it crystal clear that FOR SURE wasn’t him who screamed.
  • Jack Evan’s is impressed with Brian Cage.
  • Thunder Rosa cracks a joke, Britt responds.
  • John Silver is happy he finally found Sting.

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