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31 Days of Halloween

Don’t Swipe Right on These Horror Dream Dates

Need a date for the spooky season?

Welcome to another installment of 31 Days of Halloween! This is our chance to set the mood for the spookiest and scariest month of the year as we focus our attention on horror and Halloween fun. For the month of October we’ll be sharing various pieces of underappreciated scary books, comics, movies, and television to help keep you terrified and entertained all the way up to Halloween.

Listen to the latest episode of the AIPT Movies Podcast!

Time to play F--k, Marry, Kill with the stars of our favorite horror movies. Just kidding, we don’t want to do any of these things without full consent and or a fair trial. However, it is a pretty popular opinion that villains are sometimes far more captivating than heroes. Villains or any protagonist in a horror movie seems to be a bit more interesting than the average person. They are usually haunted by a mysterious past and have unconventional ambitions. Here are some of the best dates for your Halloween night viewing. 

Mary Lou Maloney (Prom Night II: Hello Mary Lou, 1987)

horror

Status: Queen Bee – down to clown

Hobbies: Breaking hearts and partying

Pet Peeves: Don’t set her on fire. She will haunt you and your future children

Ideal Date: Making out with boys who are not her date

Billy Loomis (Scream, 1996)

horror

Status: Complicated Boyfriend – maximum brooder

Hobbies: Horror movies and thinking of overly elaborate murder plots

Pet Peeves: Don’t talk bad about his mom

Ideal Date: Playing horror movie trivia

Herbert West (Re-Animator, 1985)

horror

Status: Mad Scientist

Hobbies: Science and bringing stuff back from the dead

Pet Peeves: People who don’t get him

Ideal date: Experimenting on animals in the basement

Angela Baker (Sleepaway Camp, 1983)

horror

Girl Most Likely

Status: Loner

Hobbies: Pretty chill, likes hanging out with family and avoiding group activities

Pet Peeves: Bullies and boyfriend stealers

Ideal date: Hanging on the beach

Angela Baker (Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers, 1988)

horror

Status: Happy Camper

Hobbies: Sing-alongs and coordinating group events

Pet Peeves: Rude people

Ideal Date: Really here for friends, had a bad dating experience on the beach once

Bob (Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me, 1992)

horror

Laura, here’s a picture of me for your locker. XOXO Bob

Status: Evil entity

Hobbies: Possessing unsuspecting citizens of Twin Peaks

Pet Peeves: Meddling law officers and gloved hands

Ideal Date: Reciting creepy poetry

David (The Lost Boys, 1987)

horror

Sup, girl?

Status: Bad boy you have probably dated in your lifetime

Hobbies: Hanging off of bridges

Pet Peeves: new people in town

Ideal Date: Chinese takeout

Michael Myers (Halloween, 1978 – ?)

horror

Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?

Status: Escaped patient

Hobbies: Chilling and killing

Pet Peeves: Family

Ideal Date: Up for anything as long it’s on Halloween

May Dove Canady (May, 2002)

horror

Status: Introvert

Hobbies: Doll collecting

Pet Peeves: Being ignored

Ideal Date: Only here for serious relationships

Bob (Vicious Fun, 2020)

horror

Anybody wanna wang chung tonight?

Status: 80’s dreamboat

Hobbies: Living the vida loca 80’s style

Pet Peeves: Buzz kills

Ideal Date: Anywhere he can drive his awesome car

Any of these would be good company on Halloween night. However, if you think you might be dating someone who matches these descriptions, please dump them. They are maladjusted and bad for you and we do not condone toxic or abusive relationships. Happy Halloween!

Don't Swipe Right on These Horror Dream Dates

 

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