WWE made history tonight on Monday Night Raw, as it was announced that the show’s Women’s Championship, currently held by Bianca Belair, will be defended against Bayley in a ladder match at the Extreme Rules premium live event.
But what really captured people’s imagination during the contract signing was the … unique fashion choices of Raw color commentator Corey Graves. The ensemble certainly lit up AIPT’s Discord server. Here are our best guesses for what Graves was going for.
– I remember enjoying his fashion sense, and yet this jacket looks like he ripped the wallpaper off the walls of an upscale Mexican restaurant.
– He looks like he got a slight bonus from the AMC he works at in his town that he never moved away from and he used it at that tacky store at the mall that sells knock-off Ed Hardy sh*t.
– Corey Graves will totally buy you clove cigarettes if you catch him outside of a Barnes and Noble.
– Looks like he’s a semi-regular on the masturbation-meta version of Pee Wee’s Playhouse.
– He looks like he sits on the board of Spirit Halloween.
– Graves looks like he used to guitar tech for Tool.
– Corey Graves looks like he plays in stepdad porn.
– Graves looking like the chief accountant for the Warped Tour.
– Graves looks like the final boss of the emo crew at your local high school and still goes to all the dances despite graduating four years ago.
– Graves looking like a man with more than one fainting couch in his home.
– Graves looking like he wears leather-scented cologne.
– Corey Graves looks like he mixes his own cologne and sells it at a cart in the mall, along with printed tees.
– Corey Graves looks like he wants to dress like Don Callis, but he doesn’t have the balls.
– Corey Graves looking like the cloned body Don Callis wants to have his consciousness transferred into.
– I think his glasses don’t have lenses; it’s just so he can chew on the end “in deep thought.”
– Looks like he invites people into peepshows at the Jersey Shore. He doesn’t work there, he just loves the arts.
– Corey Graves looks like he’s a philosophy major at a community college, with straight C’s.
You know what? Let’s drop the pretenses already.
– Graves owns more than four bottles of wine with the word “blood” in the name.
– Corey Graves owns books of bad goth poetry that he has been photographed holding, but has never read.
– Corey Graves sells fake Magic the Gathering cards at tournaments at the YMCA.
– At one point in his life, Corey Graves was “the guy who owns a bird.”
– Corey Graves’ favorite actor is John Cusack.
– Corey Graves has The Pick-up Artist and Shot of Love on DVD box set.
– Corey Graves got a stick and poke tattoo in high school that he claims is a Misfits skull, but is actually Grim from Billy and Mandy.
– Corey Graves thinks Wes Craven can learn a thing or two from Rob Zombie.
We love you, Corey! Jacket-with-no-shirt might catch on yet!
You must be logged in to post a comment Login