Connect with us
3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12

3 Second Movie Reviews

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12

Summer is winding down, but as we all know the big summer movies are already released anyway. That doesn’t mean we can’t get excited for the movies hitting disc that started the summer like The Hunger Games and The Dictator! 3 Second Reviews is the review column that reviews movies recently released to the theater, disc and a few oldy but goodies. Enjoy!

In Theaters Now

The Expendables 2, (August 2012)

Genre: Action

Listen to the latest episode of our weekly movies podcast, Adventures in Movies!

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
This flick has very little beefcake but lots of laughs.

This film reaches new heights when it comes to hilariously overdone action. There are scenes that are nearly as funny as Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky, but it has the added benefit of containing every action hero known to man. For good or bad nearly every line is a one-liner. Sadly Van Damme’s fight scene doesn’t live up to his weird and fun character. Two good fighting scenes with Jason Statham round out the rather tepid action sequences; tepid because they are more about being overdone then well done.

Grade: B

Recently Released on Disc

The Hunger Games, (March 2012)

Genre: Action, Drama, Science Fiction

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
If Kristen Stewart is a “tramp-ire” then Jennifer Lawrence might become a “tramp-ute”. Get it… combo of tramp and tribute! I’m… sorry.

About as strong as its source material for better or worse and I liked the first book. We compared the two a few months ago here. In the film you get a sense of the brutality of it all, mixed with the true horror of a child dying.

Grade: B

The Dictator, (May 2012)

Genre: Comedy

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
The perks of being an actor. On top of that this was deleted from the film!

Better than Bruno but not as dense with laughs as Borat, this film dances on the edge of poor taste. The movie is hilarious 70% of the time while the other 30% either falls flat or is so malicious it’s hard to laugh.

Grade: B+

The Three Stooges, (April 2012)

Genre: Comedy

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
I don’t know what’s more offensive. The kids laying witness to this bikini or the bikini itself.

I genuinely laughed 4 times and that’s 4 times more than I expected. It’s silly stupidity at it’s best with, surprisingly, an actual plot. Still, it’s difficult to get through as it’s rather boring all around. Larry David, who plays a nun, is a riot for the most part.

Grade: C+

Margaret, (September 2011)

Genre: Drama

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
Before Anna Paquin became hot and blonde she was in this.

Even though I watched the 2 hour and 30 minute version… I still want to see the 3 hour directors cut. Why? Because the acting is amazing, Anna Paquin is amazing and the teenage mind is perfectly on show here. You’ll be wrapped up in these characters and won’t want to leave.

Grade: B+

Safe House, (February 2012)

Genre: Suspense, Action

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
The best part of this film.

The premise is a lot more sound that it appears, but once this film takes to the street it becomes a disappointing Bourne Identity knock off. Denzel doesn’t come off as the badass we love, but an older man who probably should stop doing action movies.

Grade: C

Seeking Justice, (March 2012)

Genre: Drama

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
”I’m a king cobra pharaoh from outer space.”

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12

The fact that Guy Pearce is in this upsets me. He used to ONLY do good films. This movie is a waste. The ending is pure diarrhea. Lots of different inconsistencies… no reason why… please make it stop.

Grade: F

Oldy, But Goody?

Superman Returns, (June 2006)

Genre: Drama, Action

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
The evolution of the Superman poster.

This flick takes a lot of flack, largely because it’s more melodic in tone and has a slower style dealing with relationship study rather than straight up action. That said the action is pretty sweet… about as good as you can get. There isn’t much danger or purpose to much of it though. I do love the little additions Singer added to the mythos.

Grade: B

Red River, (1948)

Genre: Western

3 Second Movie Reviews: 8/21/12
You don’t like black and white films!? Go suck an egg!

This flick keeps you guessing, which is a grand thing considering the time. The fact that John Wayne isn’t a stereotype but a complex character is riveting. Most definitely in the top 5 Westerns everyone should see.

Grade: A-


In Case You Missed It

'Batman: White Knight Presents: Harley Quinn' #1 review 'Batman: White Knight Presents: Harley Quinn' #1 review

‘Batman: White Knight Presents: Harley Quinn’ #1 review

Comic Books

AfterShock Preview: I Breathed a Body #1 AfterShock Preview: I Breathed a Body #1

AfterShock Preview: I Breathed a Body #1

Comic Books

Lovecraft Country (HBO) Lovecraft Country (HBO)

‘Lovecraft Country’ episode 10 ‘Full Circle’ recap/review


bullets of justice bullets of justice

‘Bullets of Justice’ review: Exploitation movie proof of ‘to each their own’

31 Days of Halloween

Newsletter Signup