The following was taken from another wiretapped phone recording of Anthony “Fat Gooch” Frogarelli, known organized crime figure:
So you lunkheads didn’t wanna believe me, did ya?
Didn’t think ol’ “Fat Gooch” Frogarelli was on the level when I told you Barnabus Black — that gold chain flossin,’ Mr. Clean lookin’ ass sonuvabitch had shacked up with a bunch of witches; and no, not ‘cause he wanted to conjure up some cure for that “so bald I can see my reflection in it” oversized egg he calls a head — but ‘cause that old broad leader of theirs Verona knew things she wasn’t supposed to know about werewolf mob boss Cassian Steele and his unborn lupine baby.
Kiss Me, Satan! #3 (Dark Horse Comics)
I told you Steele would be none too happy, didn’t I? Told you he’d put a price on them two bit hocus pocus hussy heads in a heartbeat, looking to get ‘em whacked. You think that guy wouldn’t want everything real hush-hush the second it looked like he might not be able to keep all his power then you’re outta ya damn gourd.
Well, whatever. Way things went down in Kiss Me, Satan! #2, I probably wouldn’t have believed you none if you’d told me neither. That first issue was real grim and gritty and had this whole crazy horror noir vibe to it and then bada boom — issue #2 takes this crazy turn ass-up and makes like it’s borderline farce, like all of a sudden we’re readin’ some funny strip — you had zombie ninjas chasing after Barnabus and the witches in monster trucks and more lame one-liners being spouted after a goon was dispatched than an episode of the frickin’ Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. (The dialogue is much more believable and less phony this issue though, especially when we get narration from one of them witch broads.)
Sure, that second issue was self-referential self-deprecating, and just the right amount of tongue-in-cheek. But hell, even If I were a comic book reviewer, and lemme tell you, fat chance that’d ever happen considering they get less respect than I do from my old lady after I roll into the house on a Sunday morning reeking of cheap martinis and prostitute taint — I probably wouldn’t have scored Kiss Me, Satan! #2 all that high. It was pretty good, but too tangential. Not enough meat; not enough getting to the point, ya feel me?
Kiss Me, Satan! #3 comes back around though. That writer guy they got, what’s his name, Gischler — mook picks up the pace and makes things interesting again. We get to see more of how that Barnabus screwball operates, like when he takes on some cowboy necromancer calls himself the Bone Wrangler in the Lafayette Cemetery. Baldheaded Barnabus bastard might be a lot tougher than we thought. Kid’s got some moves — maybe all them rumors about him being a demon or a fallen angel are true; his immunity to eldritch fire sure saved his sorry ass against the Bone Wrangler. Too bad the same couldn’t be said for one of his new witch buddies, what’s her name? The redheaded one, Dax.
Like I said earlier, the dialogue and the narrative ditches the artificial, contrived jazz and starts moving along real tight and more interesting without losing any of the “fun” aspect we had in the previous issues. That’s a good thing. Whaddya mean “my accent is what’s really artificial and contrived?” Why I oughta… Oh yeah, woulda been nice to see some of the aftermath of what happened with Cassius’ baby mama, but I’m sure we’ll get the scoop next ish.
There’s a new player in all of this too — another guy after Barnabus and the witches, fixing to take ’em out for good. And he just might be able to do it too. Sure he looks like some greaseball shmuck with a pedophile mustache, calls himself Malcolm Drake and claims he’s a wizard or somethin’, but don’t let that fool you: by issue’s end he’s got a familiar face under some sort of mind control and it doesn’t look like he wasted much effort at all doing it — so he probably ain’t one whose ballhairs you wanna be stepping on anytime soon.
Juan Ferreyra, dude on art duty? Kid’s unreal. You get that guy to do police sketches for you and it’d be the best move you ever made. You’d be catching new criminals every week and going all googily eyed from appreciating his fine craftsmanship like you were in a freakin’ museum or something. Yeah, that’s right — same guy Adventures in Poor Taste did an interview with a little while back. Guy just keeps getting better and better, baby. And the bar for that kid was already set plenty high.
His art in Kiss Me, Satan #3 is some of the best I ever seen it. Barnabus and crew look vibrant, crisp — perfect mix of detailed, sure-handed, and the slightest big exaggerated. The baddies are macabre and menacing, especially in the graveyard fight scene. (And just wait’ll you see the eyeball gag with Verona. I get all antsy in the pantsies just thinkin’ about it.
Is It Good?
- Juan Ferreyra’s artwork is on point and then some.
- Story is back on track and moving along well with some interesting twists thrown in the mix.
- Finally get a little characterization for Barnabus.
- Dialogue still a bit spotty but much improved over last issue.
You bet your sweet ass.
In a good comic book the writing and the art tell the story equally; Ferreyra’s stuff is doing a whole shitload of telling: Beautiful fight scene choreography, a wide range of facial expressions and spatial awareness every panel, and on top of it all — gruesome close-ups that will have you wincing in disgust and wondering what the hell happened to this kid when he was little, like did he have some kind of traumatic experience or his mommy didn’t hug him enough maybe? Sick and creative, but I can’t say I don’t dig on it big time.
Gischler’s story is starting to get back on track too after a flaky, but still occasionally fun last issue. Looking forward to seein’ what happens next.
And you didn’t hear none of this from me, capisce?
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