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Lady Thor is on the rise. At least someone is getting it up

Comic Books

Lady Thor is on the rise. At least someone is getting it up

If you haven’t noticed female Thor at recent conventions, seen the early reviews or caught the hot topic on The View (you know you love it) you may not know that Thor #1 this week will unveil an unknown woman to replace Thor. Thor is being replaced because he can’t pick Mjölnir (his beloved rock hard hammer) up anymore because for some reason he is no longer worthy. It may scream publicity stunt (because really, does gender ever drive a story?), but that’s nothing new when it comes to comics.

If you haven’t killed your darlings in over a decade, come up with a female version stat! At least that seems to be the mantra at the Big Two (DC and Marvel). Spider-Man, Deadpool, Vision, and a whole slew of characters have seen their sexes change, indirectly in alternate universes or directly in some cases. Some might think this is all a ploy in order to cater to the predominantly male readership and their fap-happy lifestyles. They might be right.

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But what if this time Thor is different. Sure, Marvel is probably secretly crossing their fingers in the hope that with two more breasts on every cover they will sell a lot more comics, at least for a brief period. God knows female-centric titles don’t get long life spans (just look at She Hulk), but maybe there’s more complexity this go around. Not a complexity to the female version of Thor, that’s hard to say at this point without reading the comic, but to old, downtrodden male Thor. You see, Thor has lost his ability to pick up his hammer. Something was said to him that has psychologically made him unworthy and he can’t get it up.

Yes that’s right folks, this entire story is founded on a metaphor: Thor has erectile dysfunction. Something I’m sure the male 30 and 40 something writers of comics these days know well about. If that isn’t the most mature concept used to kick off a comic book story in the last decade I don’t know what is. Lets look at the facts.

Maybe SNL wasn’t aware, but this commercial could help Thor party and get it up!

Nick Fury whispered something in Thor’s ear to make Thor unworthy of holding onto the weapon he’s practically born to carry. A weapon that symbolises his strength, only he himself can pick up and one of the more phallic of weapons in the Marvel U on top of it all. So far we’ve seen Thor’s reaction since his losing his ability to keep his hammer upright, and he’s been in a pisser of a mood. The guy is lost, angry, and confused as to why he no longer can control his most powerful weapon much like men are when they no longer function in the bedroom. He can’t get it up and he doesn’t know what to do to fix the issue.

Lady Thor is on the rise. At least someone is getting it up
Okay Thor, maybe make it move in private?

To make it even worse for Thor, the only person who can wield his mighty hammer is a woman. Talk about emasculating. That being said, I’m pretty psyched to see Lady Thor kick some ass.

Lady Thor is on the rise. At least someone is getting it up

So far Marvel has marketed this series as a new character taking the helm and taking charge and nothing more, c’mon, this is a veiled attempt at telling an erectile dysfunction story. I hope I’m right, because if it is a story about a man dealing with ED, a very serious topic for millions of men today, Marvel is doing something not only ahead of its time, but writing a story that has real life societal implications.

Needless to say, eventually Thor will get his hammer back. God knows Marvel will need to bring the hammer back into his hand for next summer’s Avengers: Age of Ultron hits theaters. When he does get his mojo Thor, and comic book traditionalists, can breathe a sigh of relief.

Lady Thor is on the rise. At least someone is getting it up
So that hammer is kinda dangling funny, don’t you think?

What do you guys think? Let me know if you agree in the comments.

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