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3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12

3 Second Movie Reviews

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12

Welcome to Adventures in Poor Taste’s weekly movie review roundup. I’ll be posting a slathering of movie reviews each week to give folks a healthy helping of what’s good and not so good. New and old, the reviews cover anything from the pleasantly innocent Winnie The Pooh to disturbingly twisted Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom.

In Theaters Now

John Carter (March 2012)

Genre: Action, Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Philip Seymour Hoffman makes a cameo in this film.

Yes, we know that John Carter will most likely go down as the biggest movie flop of all time. But honestly, does it deserve such a designation? Not really. John Carter isn’t a Michael Bay action film, but more akin to an adventure flick like Indiana Jones. If you’re a person who likes to get their childlike sense of wonder blasted right in the face (and who doesn’t, really?) you’re going to want to check this film out. The fact that Pirates of the Caribbean can get an endless supply of sequels and this most likely (due primarily to poor marketing decisions) won’t is a crime. A lengthier review can be located here.

Grade: B+

Recently Released on Disc

Melancholia, (November 2011)

Genre: Drama, Science Fiction, Mystery

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
S--t gets weird. Then it gets real. Then it rips out your reason to live.

Hopelessness, depression, apprehension, despair. This film captures these incredibly well be it the actions and emotions of the characters, tone set in the music and lighting and the pacing set by director Lars von Trier. Due to these factors the film is more of an opera of emotion rather than a story or character study. This movie will raise your anxiety levels. New to disc this week.

Grade: B+

The Descendants (November 2011)

Genre: Drama, Comedy

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Power walking is about as action packed as this film gets.

Released this week, this film deals with a lot more pain than the director’s previous work in Sideways, so don’t expect it to rival that chuckle hut. It still contains humorous moments, and Clooney is good with an even stronger cast to support him. It’s a tough topic boiled down into a digestible film worth viewing. Any other year it wouldn’t have been nominated, but it’s still good.

Grade: B+

My Week With Marylin, (November 2011)

Genre: Drama

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Michelle Williams is cute and sometimes sexy in the film, but a wig and make up a film it does not make.

The movie sort of limps along and doesn’t do anyone justice. It doesn’t say a whole lot about Marylin Monroe and seems to exist just to show she wasn’t screwed together that well. Sort of like a made for TV movie, the most surprising thing about the film is that Michelle Williams is more window dressing than a full character.

Grade: C+

Like Crazy, (October 2011)

Genre: Drama, Romance

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Felicity Jones is a true actress.

Largely improvised, the film is at once realistic but also stunted as far as pacing and story. Genuine intimate moments occur, but it’s hard to connect with these characters.

Grade: B-

The Big Year, (October 2011)

Genre: Comedy

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Obligatory looking-for-comedy-but-can’t-find-it joke.

If you like Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson you’ll enjoy this movie enough just by following their antics. Enough doesn’t really cut it though. The movie never reaches a laugh out loud hilarity, sticking to a more safe humor that amuses. Nor does it get introspective enough to mean much either. Also, google big year, it’s an actual birding hobby. Crazy stuff.

Grade: C

The Thing, (October, 2011)

Genre: Horror, Science Fiction

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Watch out! Resident Evil’s lawyers are behind you!

This is a prequel to the original horror film with the same name. They clearly misnamed this film, as it should have been titled The Boring. This film is not scary outside the stereotypical startle scares and it’s more of a science fiction film than a horror. It doesn’t seem to know this though, making it very boring and very predictable.

Grade: C-

Oldy, But Goody?

Jesus Camp, (September 2006)

Genre: Documentary

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Mickey Rourke found Jesus and he didn’t need no stinking camp.

Since there is no narrator driving the viewers opinion or emotions nothing feels false. It’s sad and disturbing to see what indoctrinated evangelical children worry about and how the preacher teaches.

Grade: B+

Office Space, (February 1999)

Genre: Comedy

3 Second Movie Review: 3/17/12
Still a classic.

Not sure if this film will ever get old. As long as we keep working in cubes the humor will last forever.

Grade: A-

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