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3 Second Movie Reviews

3 Second Movie Review: 4/14/12

Welcome to Adventures in Poor Taste’s weekly movie review roundup. I’ll be posting a slathering of movie reviews each week to give folks a healthy helping of what’s good and not so good. New and old, the reviews cover anything from the pleasantly innocent Winnie The Pooh to disturbingly twisted Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom.

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In Theaters Now

The Hunger Games, (March 2012)

Genre: Action, Drama, Science Fiction

5 minutes after this toy is released G.I. Joe is getting it on.

About as strong as its source material for better or worse and I liked the first book. You get a sense of the brutality of it all, mixed with the true horror of a child dying. It’s one of those movie experiences where it you’re glad you saw it so you can stay on point in conversation. You don’t feel enriched or all that entertained.

Grade: B

Friends with Kids, (March 2012)

Genre: Drama, Comedy

Megan Fox is otherworldy hot in this movie. It should be a crime against humanity.

The movie carries its own weight on acting and premise with some laughs thrown in for good measure. Then about 50 minutes into the film some irrational turns frustrate the audience, and the viewer realizes Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm are window-dressing for the poster. It’s more sitcom than meaningful drama which creates a schizophrenic atmosphere.

Grade: C+

Recently Released on Disc

The Iron Lady, (January 2012)

Genre: Drama

Margaret Thatcher nutcracker sums up the message in The Iron Lady.

Sad, sad movie. Snapshots of Margaret Thatcher’s life are revealed throughout the film, but at a cost to meaning and purpose. It seems to want to state she may have squandered family life and stood for her ideals, but things are thinned to feel lukewarm at best. It’s more of a montage of her big moments as Prime Minister, a History Channel documentary, than a real movie.

Grade: C-

The Adventures of Tintin, (December 2011)

Genre: Action & Adventure, Animation, Kids

Two nerds nerding out on their passion. Much like our readers!

This is very much in the same vein as Indiana Jones, only the action set pieces can be much bigger and impossible due to the animation format. Even punches to the face are straight from Indiana Jones. It’s a wild fun ride and shouldn’t be missed. I can see why it didn’t get nominated for best animated film. A lot of the animation looks so realistic they must have used some photo capture tricks.

Grade: A-

Immortals, (November 2011)

Genre: Fantasy, Action

“We may get bad reviews! But they will never! Take! Our ab balls!!”

Same director of the amazing film “The Fall” this movie falls, ahem pun intended, flat on story. If every location looks like a set is it a play or a movie? It’s amazing something this clean looking is as boring as C-SPAN. Also, why is 70% of this film shot on a cliff?

Grade: D-

Carnage, (December 2011)

Genre: Drama, Comedy

These two really own this movie. Christopher Waltz is amazing. I suppose one danger of doing a small ensemble movie like this is your acting can be rated easily. Poor John C. Reilly.

Has the energy and wit of “Noises Off..” and the acting is subtle enough to make you laugh out loud. It does sag a bit midway through, and I imagine a live rendition would carry better in these parts. Great little movie.

Grade: B+

The Darkest Hour, (December 2011)

Genre: Science Fiction, Action

Emile Hirsch says in response to the building exploding “this is why the aliens came!” How do you know that?! Plot details are uttered ala Mad Libs. Maddening.

It’s cool what this movie ATTEMPTS to do, read: original aliens, Americans trapped in Russia, the decay of society. Cool doesn’t cut bad pacing, stupid sound effects, and cheap scares. Characters constantly explain things they should be too shitless to even comprehend. Cheap.

Grade: D-

Oldy, But Goody?

Troll Hunter, (June 2011)

Genre: Drama, Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

The first rule of hiding a troll is to NOT LOOK AT THE TROLL. The second rule of hiding a troll is…dammit.

Many things to like: acting, plot, cinematography and even the types of trolls. Unfortunately the story doesn’t do enough to make the story as believable as it could be which makes it all a bit silly. They list it as “comedy” on rottentomatoes but I don’t buy it. This flick was never supposed to be funny. Norway sure is beautiful too.

Grade: B

The Devil’s Double, (July 2011)

Genre: Action, Drama

Frank liked gold. Some would say he liked it a lot.

Extremely violent, but interesting tale about the true story of Saddam Hussein’s son hiring a double. Sucks to be a nice person and double a demon. Not much to the movie beyond that. It’s pretty vicious and graphic in gore.

Grade: B

Grandma’s Boy, (May 2006)

Genre: Comedy

Jonah Hill cut his teeth on this flick.

Very good for a stupid laugh. It’s interesting to watch after the huge success of the later stoner flick Pineapple Express. It’s not as dense as it could be with laughs, but possibly the only resilient video game humor you’ll find in the mainstream.

Grade: B-


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