Chew #23
Written Rob Guillory | Art by John Layman
Dog: “Hipster glasses are a privilege, not a right!”
Dave: Harlem nose job anyone?
Jordan: To be fair, no one is ever ready for knife eye surgery.
Ghost Rider #7
Written Felipe Smith | Art by Damion Scott
Dave: The new title for the sequel to Chew! Chomp #1 will be out on stands November 14th!
Jordan: …Well, that just happened.
Dog: Avenging his Gummi brethren.
Evil Empire #5
Written Max Bemis | Art by Joe Eisma
Dave: Murder dicks porn is going too far!
Dog: Believing they were “neutral” made us complacent. Now their soldiers take the world with genetically engineered, Swiss army penises!
Jordan: If I look long and hard enough (pun may have been intended), I sure there’s something like this in Japan’s catalogue of Hentai.
Low #3
Written Rick Remender | Art by Greg Tocchini
Dave: Hey, I got “listless ghost humping” on my last Buzzfeed quiz!
Dog: Now THAT’s an Eyes Wide Shut orgy! Not a horsehead in sight!
Jordan: “Ghosts”? They look too alive to be ghosts… now zombies on the other hand…
Clive Barker’s Nightbreed #5
Written Clive Barker, Marc Andreyko | Art by Piotr Kowalski, Emmanuel Xerx Javier
Dog: I’d take that over, “When are you going to settle down?” or “Why didn’t you finish grad school?”
Dave: If I wanted to see childbirth I’d go to Sarah Palin cookout. AMIRIGHT!?
John: On the bright side, he got past the teething process quickly.
Jordan: D’aw, look at that adorable hellspawn!
Private Eye #8
Written Brian K. Vaughn | Art by Marcos Martin
Dave: Who wants eggs?!
Dog: Now who will take care of Mexican Curious George?!
Jordan: Death by grape juice.
Chronicles of Hate HC
Written and drawn by Adrian Smith
Dave: Avian flu is a real problem in Mordor and I think I know why.
John: Who knew the Eye of Sauron was the GPS of Middle Earth!
Jordan: Apparently in the east, they have the tastiest of eyeballs.
Dog: For this guy’s sake, I hope he never eats my left pinky.
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