Game of Thrones, as casted by WWE’s Raw roster

Recently, WWE sent out a survey about potential future WWE Network shows including asking if fans wanted to see TNA/GFW shows, tournaments, yadda yadda.  The important thing was the question as to whether fans would enjoy seeing WWE-based dramas ala HBO’s mega-hit Game of Thrones.  I am on that like George RR Martin on whatever is keeping him from finishing Winds of Winter.  If you want to see the Monday Night Raw roster cast as GoT characters, gimme a hell yeah! (I’m going to assume you did, because computers don’t work that way…yet.)

Game of Thrones, WWE-style Dramatis Personae

Tywin Lannister: Mr. McMahon

I predict that Vince will go the same way Tywin did: disappointed in his kids and on the can.

Cersei Lannister: Stephanie McMahon

Naturally.

Jamie Lannister: Triple H

Sure, Stephanie is not Triple H’s sister, but Shane is over on the blue brand so we have to make do.

Tyrion Lannister: Hornswoggle

Even besides the height, he’s Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate son, remember?

Deanerys Stormborn: Sasha Banks

Sasha of the House Banks, the First of Her Name, The Boss, Queen of the Hardys, the Revival and the Hype Bros, Queen of Full Sail, Khaleesi of the Great Blue Ring, Protector of the Belt, Lady Regnant of Monday Night RAW, Breaker of Backs and Mother of Bayley’s Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Men.

Ned Stark: John Cena

You know his goody-two-shoes ass would get beheaded in a heartbeat.

Robb Stark: Roman Reigns

He’s already been betrayed Red Wedding-style.

Jon Snow: Seth Rollins

Dean Ambrose as someone who knows nothing was a close second here.

Arya Stark: Alexa Bliss

Alexa would most certainly stab a bitch.

Sansa Stark: Emma

I’m running out of women.  Boost the roster so I can be more accurately funny!

The Mountain: Brock Lesnar

This one is interchangeable with…

The Hound: Braun Strowman

…this one.  A year ago, The Hound would have been Kane, but the HYPE is real and Clegane Bowl happens this Sunday at WWE No Mercy, only on the WWE Network.

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish: The Miz

Who else is slimy enough to be Baelish?  And who else would you rather see go at the hands of Emma and Alexa?

Varys: Kurt Angle

Bald, behind-the-scenes manipulator, supporter of the true Queen of the Andals, Sasha Banks.

Joffrey Baratheon: Neville, King of the Cruiserweights

TJP was an alternate for this one just due to him looking like he’s 12.

Bronn: Elias

I really want to walk with Bronn at least once before the series is over.

Robert Baratheon: Rhyno

He gets gored.  Get it?

Ygritte: Heath Slater

Think about it. You know Heath and Seth would make beautiful children.

Brienne of Tarth: Nia Jax

Until Rhea Ripley gets called up, this is our only option. She IS not like most girls, though.

Tormund Giantsbane: Sheamus

I feel like Sheamus and Nia giving each other side eye for an hour would make a great WWE Network show.

Hodor: Big Show

He needs to grow the beard back before I’ll let him have this role.

Samwell Tarly: Bray Wyatt

Once you see this in your head you’ll never unsee it.

Khal Drogo: Samoa Joe

Big role at the start, and then inexplicably removed from the series.

Grey Worm: Finn Balor

Watching Finn just straight up murdering fools in epic battles would make my soul happy.

Missandei: Bayley

My Bayley/Finn Balor OTP fanfic is amazing.

Jorah Mormont: Cesaro

Stoic? Check. Super strong? Check. Weird thing on shoulder? Check.