Good evening and welcome back. It’s cool that you are reading this. This week I consumed a good couple of bits of rasslin, including watching some AEW sh*t on YouTube. I watched the new video from the Dark Order because even though the IWC and beyond seem to be sh*tting on them as a faction I’m holding out hope that the payoff is gonna be sweet, no matter what direction they end up going in. I also watched most of BTE which is different for me because after the opening credits I find myself losing interest and the whole bit with Marty was kinda funny and I always pop for people cursing BUT I don’t know. It was fine. I actually found myself liking the part where Page asks Kenny to come and dress in the locker room with the other Elite. That is some of the good storytelling that they aren’t doing on the action-packed show called Dynamite. Maybe they could use another weekly television program to flesh out their characters and storylines… Anywho, it’s time to crank up TNT and kick off the Jericho Rock N’ Wrestling Rager at Sea Part Deux episode of Dynamite and see how the f*ck this came off. I avoided spoilers and I am going to do a run in on the PTW podcast tonight once Dynamite wraps, so let’s boogie.
Holy f*cking sh*t, this actually looks cool as hell!! Swimming pool, a crazy HOT crowd and, you know what, it’s something different. Hell yes. This rules. I might be most excited to see Joey J vs MJF tonight! Tobacco Man and Kenny vs. SCU is the opening match and Jesus Christ, this might be the hottest captive audience I have ever seen. It’s almost obnoxious but it’s just awesome. These people are clearly HAMMERED. The ring/ramp/ring setup is awesome this time even though the ramp connects to the ring. I am really impressed with how legitimate this looks. SCU sucks as the tag champs. They should probably be sh*t heels sh*t talking on everyone. I like Scorpio Sky a lot but the other two do him no favors. Kaz is a f*cking charisma vacuum. It is pretty f*cking cool how Chris Jericho tried to arrange a cruise last year to combine “rock” and “wrestling” and at this point it seems like a forgone conclusion that this is now a thing that just happens going forward. there are already tickets for sale for next year.
“COWBOY SH*T” chants kick in and I’m f*cking on board with this dude. I have turned the corner with Hangman Adam Page. God damn. This is the most WCW that AEW has looked in my opinion thus far and I’m loving it. Tony and JR talk about how the crowd is jammed up on the ring and how the ramp is going into the ring because we are in somewhat cramped quarters being on a boat and all. Seriously, putting Page in the ring against Kaz has me really considering buying a pack of Camels to support the old boy. I actually hope to f*ck that Ken and Adam win the titles tonight. A tag team called Ken and Adam is better than f*cking SCU. It looks like the ring is considerably smaller now that I think of it. None of this matters, it looks awesome. On this night, I like the fact that I can clearly hear the wind sound on the mics as it makes it feel incredibly real and incredibly live.
I wonder if the “Hangman the alcoholic” angle is gonna draw me in or turn me off. I don’t think I have historically ever been a fan of alcoholic angles (i.e. Scott Hall, Road Warrior Animal), but maybe this one intrigues me? I hope they tread thoughtfully through that. This match hasn’t been much of anything, really. It’s largely a good late ’80s territory match. While Adam Page isn’t a very big dude, he throws a f*cking lariat like he is 6’ 8” 300 lbs. I’m losing interest in this match. I’m actually watching live so I’m likely gonna switch and peek at NXT if there are any straight commercial breaks tonight. This episode was recorded last night so spoilers exist which makes me wonder if people are gonna still watch or skip and watch NXT. Page and Kaz gets taken out of the match into the crowd and Kenny and Scorp have a fun minute or so alone but Hangman hops in the ring to hit Sky and he clobbers Kenny. Thankfully, Adam breaks up what is surely a pin fall after Scorpio hits some torture rack into a Diamond Cutter type move! DAMN.
Pic-in-pic mode sets in for the commercial and honestly I just found myself watching the State Farm commercial instead of this match. I don’t love this pic-in-pic thing but it is better than it just being a commercial. I think all these little ideas that Tony Kahn has had as to how to make this a profitable and compelling venture have been well executed and clearly it’s working. Man, Kenny and Page hit a bunch of tandem moves on Kaz that make them seems like a legitimate tag team and it’s pretty impressive. SCU stinks. F*ck, I thought this sh*t was over as they hit SCU later and not only does Hangman break it up but he drags Kenny to the corner to tag himself in. Page goes APESH*T, kicks the sh*t out of every one, hits Kaz with a sick-as-f*ck-flipping-into-the-ring-Buckshot-Lariat and just straight up wins the titles for him and Kenny. Holy sh*t, I loved that. I might buy a Page shirt. God damn. Good job AEW.
Page grabs his belt and heads to the crowds and starts slamming beers. The crowd carries Page away as he chugs their beers! this is awesome. Page rules. What the f*ck man. The world has gone mad. The other thing I might be liking about Page is how he seems disenchanted with The Elite, something I can relate to. I have found myself losing interest in Kenny and the Bucks as this Elite experience wears on and he might be my surrogate in that experience.
Priscilla Kelly aka Hells Favorite Harlot comes out for her debut match against Bored Baker, DMD, who looks as interested as ever to be here tonight. Baker almost looks like she is cosplaying as Kris Statlander tonight. Man, Britt just doesn’t seem to f*cking care about being anywhere. She has nicely crimped hair, which is a good look. I’m already rooting for Priscilla in this match. Not that I dislike Britt, but I’m just as interested in her matches as she is. This is essentially an early-women’s-revolution-level match (2016 WWE). That said, this is sadly one of the best women’s wrestling matches AEW has had in quite a while. Ah well, Brit ends up clamping in the Lock Jaw and Kelly taps out pretty swiftly and whatever.
Ski-a-vone heads down ringside to talk to Britt for whatever reason. If she doesn’t turn heel I just don’t give a sh*t about her. Oh sh*t, she just went heel by bringing up how Tony worked at Starbucks before being here. “Before working here you were a sh*tty Barista.” Wow the crowd is chanting “F*CK YOU BRITT” and yep, she is going heel. It’s not natural but I’m into it. She took the mic from tony and she is just running the show. I kinda love it. As I write that JR sounds shoot annoyed and says “OK, we’ve heard enough of this, folks we’ll be right back” and they cut to a REAL commercial break! Wow. I would be even more impressed if I thought this was live but I love that they left that in or wrote it into the show. Man, I kinda hope they come back to Britt still on the mic putting herself over.
Back from commercial and it’s reviewing Jericho NOT beating Jungle Boy a few weeks back. Jurassic Express vs. Le Champion and Proud and Powerful is up next. The ring apron keeps blowing in the wind and it keeps making me think someone is doing a run in. Yo, I f*cking LOVE Santana and Otiz. I am totally in. I gotta get an Inner Circle shirt asap. Jericho and Hager come out to a choir of the ENTIRE crowd singing “Judas” to Jericho. Good god, he is the MAN. I never could have imagined that he was THIS good. Even the past two years has been so much for him between the cruise and podcast and NJPW and now this. It’s amazing.
So, this match has just been wonderful. It’s good gimmick tag team wrestling. Santana and Otiz are so good and fun to watch but the Jurassic Express have a bunch of full team moves that they do that are really fun to watch. Jungle Boy is fun to watch too. Jurassic Express really looks like dad, big brother and baby brother. (I’m peeking at NXT. Shayna cutting a promo and I don’t care so I’m back.) Jungle Boy is getting so thoroughly rag dolled around by everybody on the heel team. I like that AEW is advertising that The Bad Boy and MJF are up next. Right on. While Jericho can be described as out of shape or a funny shape or barrel chested or collapsed chested or whatever, he doesn’t seem out of place in the ring with some dude who are almost 30 years younger than him. Ortiz does the back rake aka Tiger Style so often and I f*cking pop every single time. he is almost a Haku or Bushwacker Luke sort of character where he just is a fully developed if not all that deep character and I find that fascinating. Jesus, Luchasaurus looks like an actual monster next to Jericho, especially as he double chokeslams Le Champion and and Ortiz. Hager interferes with Lucha who tags Marko Stunt in and goes after Hager, leaving the match entirely. Marko hits a 450 on Jericho and while I never thought he would pin Jericho, especially on his cruise, Y2J throws a quick Judas Effect on Marko, effectively murdering him and picking up the win.
A video package runs showing off Cody and MJF and honestly, this is showcasing how f*cking awesome this show as been for the past five months and how good they are at putting videos together. It’s funny, we all wanted this to happen sooner than later and basically, in retrospect, it’s been happening right on schedule. MJF totally has good theme song for him. What the f*ck, this is the third week in a row at least that they cut to PiP during MJF ring entrance. And again, I see why. He is trolling the crowd, pissing them all off, getting them f*cking furious at him, so they wanna see Joey kick his f*cking head in. He just took a dude’s hat and tossed it into the crowd, possibly off the boat and I can feel the heat through the little screen on the TV. He is such a f*cking sh*t heel. Max is walking around making people kiss his stupid f*cking ring. I almost wish he didn’t beat Page for that ring, as I am now the biggest Hangman Adam Page mark in the world.
Joey has his hair all in corn rows. These two dudes are putting on a very standard, regular wrestling match. They are doing some moves, some holds, working body parts. MJF is largely in control so it’s just kind of that match. Building heat. It’s been fine, but nothing of note. Full commercial break, so I’m gonna peek at NXT. Imperium and Broser Weights and while I bet that will probably be a better MATCH by far from what I’m watching on TNT, the non-WWE show is trying something different and are featuring characters that I’m more invested in, causing me to be a bit more forgiving of subpar wrestling.
Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford come out to do some Frenching, causing just enough of a distraction for MJF to hit his finish, which is apparently and perfectly called the Double Cross. This motherf*cker is such a f*ck and yet he is top 5 on this show for me for sure. “In a world filled with mumble rappers, Cody, you are a lyricist.” MJF post match promo on Cody claiming to be Cody’s FINAL chapter and, you guessed it, Cody’s music hits. No pyro, no jerk sesh, no rising from the floor, none of it. Cody cant touch MJF. Cody is in a terrific pink suit that fits him like a glove. Max sounds like such a dick the way he says “bud.” I mostly hate him. Cody doesn’t say anything, MJF runs him down, mocks his lisp, and kicks the mic away from Cody after pretending to hand it to him, making the EVP look like a dork. As the crowd calls him an assh*le the Bucks sneak out Superkick Party his head off and then toss his ass in the pool. What a world we live in.
“Chris Jericho Rock N Wresting Rager At Sea Part Deux” is so f*cking ridiculous and cool. They show a drone shot of the ship itself after a brief video of some highlights from the cruise. It looks like it’s super fun, honestly. I peeked at NXT again real quick and that match is in full effect and looks sick. Riddle is such a freak and Pete Dunne rules. I miss it but I feel fine with the niche I have settled into.
Tony is backstage with Kenny and Adam and their tag team titles. Oh man, they are working this sh*t with Hangman in such a heavy handed way. Tony asked Kenny a question and fawned over him, asked Page a question and then brushed over him, then back to Kenny…Young Bucks interrupt Page as he answers Tony’s question. Page just goes “I can’t believe we won these things before you guys did” to the Young Bucks.
Oh wow, it’s already main event time, Pac vs Moxley and Jericho’s music hits first! It would appear Le Champion will be joining commentary for the match. Jericho offers his services to commentary and refers to Excalibur as Mumble Mouth. Hot damn, Pac looks like a f*cking monster troll. You know, they just cut to a full commercial before this and I hope that indicates that they will mostly let this match play out and not interrupt the flow too much. I hope this is a ripper. Either way, I’m pretty stoked to hear Jericho on commentary because he does the Heenan thing of putting over the competition because it makes him look better if he beats them but also keeps his credibility if he loses because he was admiring that the guys are badasses.
After a lengthy commercial break here comes “Old Blinky” Jon Moxley. Jericho makes a reference to it being an eye for an eye which I feel like he doesn’t totally understand how that works but OK. Geez I gotta say, not to keep gushing about Jericho, but even his commentary, for what it is, is excellent. Justin Roberts says “Jooooooooooon” for about 14 seconds for Mox’s introduction. So the best part of this match thus far is the almost strobe like audio censorship going on because this crowd keeps chanting something that clearly has the F word in it. Jericho and JR each comment repeatedly about Moxley having sh*tty peripheral vision. Pac wails on Moxley at one point and pulls his eye patch off and punches him in the eye over and over again. “YOUR SHIP SUCKS,” the crowd chants at a boat docking next to them.
As Pac walked by the camera he looked like a tiny Braun Strowman for a moment and it made me like both of them more, respectively. Mox and Pac work their way outside the ring, around the crowd, up a staircase, and suddenly this feels like ECW except on a f*cking boat. Jesus, Mox beats Pac so bad that he collapses and falls down a flight of stairs. Moxley bashes Pac with beer and mixed drinks from the crowd and concession stands. Apparently, there are no count outs. The f*cking crowd chanting curse words is aggravating because it’s literally cutting the commentary audio too. Jericho is almost just doing normal commentary, not even sh*tting on either of the guys too much. “Pac’s core is so strong that even when he takes a fall like that he is still so solid.” Good god, Pac stands there and just shoot kicks Moxley in the head over and over again, right on his eye and it looks terrible. “Just give up Moxley, you stupid son of a bitch.”
I feel like Pac just sold that they f*cked up a high spot, or that Mox wasn’t in position or something. Gross!! Mox has blood leaking through his face bandage. Another fun thing about Jericho on commentary is that he is respectful to JR, who is a babyface commentator, whilst still being a heel to Excalibur. Pac has Mox in the Brutalizer full bore and it looks awful. Mox is trying to Hulk out but I can’t see it happening. Jericho is calling everyone stupid and idiots. Pac just ripped Mox’s bandage off and thew it to the crowd and then punched him in the eye so many times. Mox hit a double arm DDT, setting Pac up for the proper Paradigm Shift, which is the jumping double arm DDT. We all already knew that this was the case, but that was a fun and cool way to see it all play out thats for sure. OK, time to go record Royal Rumble Predictions PTW with the good brothers!
Well goddamn, I just finished up the podcast with the good brothers of Poor Taste Wrestling and I’m really really looking forward to the Royal Rumble this coming Sunday and hanging with them all, but AEW is still ringing in my brain. Moxley is living the dream and he made an eye patch ON A BOAT not look cheesy or like a pirate at all. I want to see him beat Chris Jericho and win that title. That’s gonna rule. But I don’t mind that there will still be a month till the PPV because I am pretty certain that they will spend the time building the story and making it that we are THRILLED to give them our hard-earned cash to watch wrestling and not just the passive interaction of having the network withdrawn from your account and watching too many hours of wrestling one Sunday per month. Well, hopefully I draw the winning number at our Rumble pool that we do but likely Donny will draw whatever number Roman Reigns is and we will all just Venmo our hard earned money to the least interested guy in the room.
I just got to say this on this week pod but:
Wrestling rules. F*ck the world. Party hard.
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