Welcome to another edition of our Really Dumb Pop Culture Questionnaire. As its name might suggest, it’s a fun and frivolous way for creators to share their most asinine opinions on all things pop culture. Because being dumb doesn’t mean something still isn’t valuable (usually).
For this edition, we quizzed writer, artist, and designer Kenny Keil, who is set to release the awesome Smoove City (described as “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air meets Archie“) on October 20. (Pre-order your copy here). Keil’s other credits include work for MAD magazine, the Stay at Home Scarface coloring book, and much more.
For even more of Keil, be sure to follow him on Twitter @kennykeil.
If your life were turned into an ‘90s movie, what film would it be and why?
I enjoy people, music, and snacks… but I also have social anxiety, so let’s go with House Party meets The Cube. The plot is basically me trying to escape from a house party, while avoiding any awkward goodbyes.
You’re a superhero — what’s your one superpower (and why)?
I’d want the power to harness and project good vibes. A Good Vibebender, if you will. I know there are flashier super powers out there. But when you really get down to it, the root of all injustice is a lack of good vibes – So why not cut out the middleman?
You can have one famous animal as a pet — who’s moving in?
Tweety Bird. More specifically, Airbrushed T-Shirt Hip-Hop Tweety Bird.
You have to make a New Jack swing-style band with famous people. Who do you choose and why?
As I explain in my upcoming OGN, Smoove City, there is a very precise and delicate formula to consider when putting together a group. Here’s how I would assemble one using the most famous people I can think of:
First you need a frontman. I’m thinking Barack Obama would be able to provide the dulcet tones and sensible leadership the group needs. Plus he’s friends with lots of famous people, so he’d know how to manage all those big personalities.
Next, you need a bad boy. A wild card. A guy who plays by his own rules. I am of course describing Guy Fieri.
Then you need a quiet, sensitive dude. The strong and silent type. You already know where this is going: Keanu Reeves.
And finally you need that one cat who only shows up on the ballads to do the occasional baritone spoken word apology. Gotta go with my guy Shaq for that one.
What song would you choose as your entrance theme for your daily life?
This one time Ini Kamoze’s “Here Comes the Hotstepper” came on the radio right as I was pulling into a Ralph’s parking lot, and all the best spots just instantly opened up right in front of me. I’ve been chasing that high ever since.
If you could eat dinner with one fictional character, who would it be and why?
Uatu the Watcher. I just feel like he’d have the best stories. Plus, he wouldn’t be able to intervene when you reach for the last bread stick.
What’s the one piece of art that you wish you could claim authorship of? Why that one?
Popeye. What’s better than a rowdy sailor who eats his greens and sticks up for the little guy? Nothing I’ve ever come up with, that’s for sure.
What’s the one food from a popular title/franchise that you’d die to try out?
I’m gonna go with The Goodburger, from Good Burger. I just gotta know what Ed’s Secret Sauce is like.
You’re hired to either help adapt War and Peace as an action film or The Tell-Tale Heart as a coming of age story set in WWII-era Texas. Which project do you pick and why?
See, this one’s a trick question: I’m supposed to think The Tell-Tale Heart would be easier to adapt, because it’s 68 pages whereas War and Peace is 1,225. But here’s the thing: Nobody’s actually read War and Peace. So you could just go wild and write up any old movie you wanted to. Plus, I feel like the Edgar Allen Poe fan community might be kind of intense. I don’t want that kind of energy in my twitter mentions if they felt I’d disrespected the source material.
You can adapt any of your works into a film but you have to cast Robert Pattinson as the lead. Which one and why?
Everything I create, I create with Robert Pattinson in mind. So he’s welcome to take his pick.
Create your own superhero right now. What’s their name, superpower, and catchphrase?
A mixtape dubbed by the Gods, playable for only those who are worthy (and own a cassette player), grants them the power of… Doctor Grooooooooove! And yes, that’s how you have to pronounce it. Every time. Abilities include hater-proof skin, and a body roll that’s so smooth it causes evildoers to rethink every poor decision that led them to this point in their lives. Doctor Grooooooooove doesn’t need a catchphrase.
Who do you recast in a modern remake of Fresh Prince?
Well, obviously you gotta get Will Smith. Except now he’s all grown up and trying to raise a family of his own in Bel-Air. So basically it’s the entire Pickett Smith collective playing themselves, August Alsina playing their butler, and Janet Hubert reprising her role as the OG Aunt Viv. In the first episode, Will ships Jaden and Willow off to West Philadelphia to live with their Uncle Jazz.