Axis: Carnage #1
Written Rick Spears | Art by German Peralta
Dave: ♫ Pop goes the eyeball! ♫
Dog: Look out behind you, Carnage! You’re about to get West Side Storied!
Russ: Sure, he might have a glass jaw and slack eyeballs… but hot damn can that man’s left cheekbone take a punch.
Saga #24
Written Brian K. Vaughn | Art by Fiona Staples
Dave: Spider-love is so misunderstood.
Dog: The only scene I remember from the Spider-Man musical.
Jordan: I can imagine Brian K. Vaughan accidentally wandering onto a furry site and then thinking: “Oh my god! I have great idea for a scene in my comic!”
Russ: Sam Raimi’s proposed Spider-Man origin for the reboot was a little too Sam Raimi for the movie execs’ taste.
And couldn’t Spider-Woman have the common courtesy to give the guy a spinneret to asscheek strum? Selfish.
Dog: That’s not a cervix.
Dave: This guy has been hanging out at the Raiders of the Lost Ark costume department too long.
Jordan: The guy was just too hot for her.
Deathlok #1
Written Nathan Edmondson | Art by Mike Perkins
Dave: You know it’s bad when Disney is sticking Under Armour ads into their comic books.
Dog: Activewear for the unstoppable murdermachine on the go!
Jordan: Mustang?! Dammit, why isn’t my car responding?
Bunker #7
Written Joshua Hale Fialkov | Art by Joe Infurnari
Dave: You need to pull the knife out and stick it back in, none of this gross turny turny, yuck!
Dog: More unnecessary periods than a lesbian nun with a club foot.
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