In our second week of this fancy new column we handpick our favorite panels of all the shiny new comics that we deem “in poor taste.” See what we did there? Yes, we’re clever. We pick out the most shocking, gross or outrageous panels. Without further ado:
Criminal Macabre: Final Night – The 30 Days of Night Crossover #2
Dave: I love it when the intestines are like confetti. We need to bring this to New Orleans!
Sean: It’s always a good day when you get to see a guy explode like a pinata. But that’s not candy, children. Those are intestines. Ole! Mitten slap!
Russ: Well, now I’ve reluctantly sat through two variations of Meatspin. “Like a record baby…”
Adventure Time #12
Dave: I find this incredibly disturbing. Just imagining my candy spilling from my guts gives me the heeby jeebies. We all have candy inside us right? Right?!
Sean: Yes Dave…yes we do.
Russ: “We all have candy inside us.” The new rebel yell for pedophiles everywhere. Unless we put a stop to it now, hypothetical readers.
Batman Incorporated #7
Written by Grant Morrison / Art by Chris Burnham
Dave: Being born from a whale makes eating the umbilical cord okay right?
Sean: And thus, Whale Tale was born!
Russ: Is there some sly biblical reference here or did Morrison just really like it when Deadpool did this to Moby Dick last week in Deadpool Killustrated #1?
Batman: The Dark Knight #16
Dave: They should change his name from Mad Hatter to Eye Gouger.
Sean: Don’t run with Mad Hatters. You’ll poke your eye out!
Russ: We should start getting drummers to follow Dave and Sean around to make rimshots whenever they make punchlines like that.
Also, I didn’t like this when it happened in Blade Runner. Nor in 28 Days Later. Big nope to this panel as well.
Lot 13 #4
Dave: You got to hand it to them they sure did a good job with the chunky flesh.
Sean: That’s what you get when you ask for a hand out. It’s not a Fabry panel until viscera is spraying ten feet into the air.
Russ: Hey guys, mind lending me a… prehensile extremity? Metacarpus? Paw? Damn it.
Superior Spider-Man #2
The very next panel…
Dave: And everyone was afraid of Doc Ock raping Mary Jane. Lo and behold Doc Ock rapes Peter Parker’s body by using the sex images in his own head. Ew.
Sean: At least he didn’t incorporate cephalopods into the dream?
Russ: I don’t really see the big deal behind this. If Mary Jane were real, everyone would fantasize about banging her; until SpOck actually does the dirty deed himself, he’s still no worse than some common lecher salivating over Playboy models.
Mars Attacks: Zombies vs. Robots #1
Dave: Something about those smashed Mars Attacks brains unnerves me.
Sean: I’m sorry, I can’t stop wondering what the “Dawg House,” is. Is it a kennel, or a hot dog place?!
Russ: Maybe it’s the male counterpart to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch?
Dave: Fred was sure of it. It was final. He was going to say sorry to MarthaFlipperBottom and make their love life work. He loved her and…OH GOD NOT THE HEART!
Sean: Hey Aquaman I got your mail by accide… URG!
Dave: A smooshed head is a happy head. Wait, I don’t have that right…
Sean: I love the eye moving at high velocity towards the viewer. SQUORRK!