Panels in Poor Taste: 3/29/13 – Puttie Smashing and Autoerotic Wolverines

Dirty rotten scoundrels. That’s us. Dirty, rotten, and foul. That’s also how we found these panels. With our powers combined we choose the most reprehensible panels that came out this week. It’s not rocket science; it’s just good, raunchy fun. Read on:

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Wolverine and the X-Men #27

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Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Ramon Perez

Dave: Either Wolvie likes bondage or he’s hungry cuz he’s drooling like he wants it.

Russ: He’s the best there is at what he does… and what he does is autoerotic asphyxiation.

Sean: Don’t go out like Carradine, yo!

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Young Avengers Vol. 2 #3

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Written by Kieron Gillen | Art by Jamie McKelvie

Dave: The ruthlessness of the heroes really makes this much more disturbing than it needs to be.

Russ: So what’s going on here exactly? Are the Young Avengers beating the s--t out of some new breed of Putties from the Power Rangers?

Sean: You know, when the color of the blood? is off-white, some of these panels could be misconstrued.

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The Jungle Book: Last of the Species #2 (of 5)

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Written by Mark L. Miller | Art by Riccardo Baghera

Dave: Perspective. It makes things funny.

Russ: The unreleased sequel to Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants…. Anal for Elephants. It’s funny because it looks like the tusk is going straight up her… yes, I hate myself.

Sean: Whamm! Right in the ass.

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Batman: The Dark Knight (2011-) #18

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Written by Gregg Hurwitz | Art by Ethan Van Sciver

Dave: Mad Hatter failed Home Economics. Coincidentally he was really good at shot put.

Sean: Oh come on Hatter, that was a goldmine you just missed! Where’s the “There’s a few things I need to iron out first,” line?

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Age of Ultron #3 (of 10)

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Written by Brian Michael Bendis | Art by Bryan Hitch

Dave: Black Panther’s “cat-like reflexes” took a spill down some stairs. What a chump death.

Russ: Looks like T’Challa should have invested in a nice StairLift. Doesn’t he know they’re with you every step of the way? (Available for half price if you’ve seen the movie Gremlins before.)

Sean: Smooth move, Exlax.

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East of West #1

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Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta

Dave: Grossest. Umbilical cord. Ever.

Sean: See Exxon, this is why you take care of yo s--t!

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Batman Incorporated #9

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Written byGrant Morrison | Art by Chris Burnham, Jason Masters

Russ: If this were the WWE, the referee’s back would have been turned during Batman’s fingerblast of Heretic’s eye sockets.

Then, as the referee turned back around to officiate once more — Batman would have both hands up, shaking his head and mouthing the words “I didn’t do it,” while Heretic writhed in agony and bled profusely on the turnbuckle.

Dave: How did he not break some fingers doing this? Also later, isn’t the eye gouged dude perfectly fine?

Sean: Apparently Batman’s hands are the size of a 2 by 4.

Russ: Hacksaw Bruce Duggan.

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Criminal Macabre: Final Night — The 30 Days of Night Crossover #4

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Written by Steve Niles | Art by Christopher Mitten

Dave: How many ways can you maim a head? I count four in this panel alone.

Sean: Face blood. It’s what’s for dinner.

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Planetoid #5

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Written and Drawn by Ken Garing

Dave: I like to think these robots whistle while they work.

Sean: Now if only they could love.

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Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #5 (of 6)

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Written by Brandon Seifert | Art by Lukas Ketner

Dave: Insects gross me out. Insects in peoples mouths make me want to die.

Sean: Mental note: Don’t make out with Witch Doctor. Ever.

Second mental note: Stop insinuating you’d fool around with drawings.

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Deadpool Killustrated #3

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Written by Cullen Bunn | Art by Mateo Lolli, Veronica Gandini

Russ: “… The bare necessities of life will come to you. They’ll come to you!” Everybody… hit the chorus! Well, not you Bagheera. You got a slit throat.

Dave: Wow, that’s just wrong. That’s like when a bad guy kills a dog in an action movie. Kill all the civilians you want but not the cute animal!

Sean: Does this make Deadpool a poacher, or is that only if he sells parts of the carcass?

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Jailbait #1

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Written by C.W. Cooke & Mary Jo Pehl | Art by Nestor Vargas

Dave: Why is this cop smiling? Does she want to party? If I were this dude I’d be so confused!

Sean: See, she gets it. Am I right bro cop? Ladies love it when you do them when they’re too young to know it’s wrong, or the horrible things you have planned?

Oh, that was your daughter.

Well.

Um.

I was just going to warn her not to meet strange, older men, I swear!

Russ: “So, you guys on MySpace, or…?” — Molester from Superbad voice.