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Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Comic Books

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 – Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Oh god, it’s Monday again. Do you know of a better way to remove the workweek blues than sitting down with your staunch pals Dave and Brendan (and sometimes Russ) and peering into the vast knowledge of the internet to derive what comic books are coming out on Wednesday?

Because if you do, please tell us. This comic thing is barely working….

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WTF? Category

Where we don’t understand, are insulted by or would rather stab our eyes with acid pops than look at these covers for various reasons.

Red Sonja Annual #4

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Dan Brereton

Dave: Who dares look at my buttocks whilst my ass flap swings up? Who dares?!

Brendan: I like this one because it’s as if Sonja is breaking the 4th wall and saying “Dude! Bring the camera up a little bit!” You’d have to imagine she is tired of having her bits on display.

Rocketeer Hollywood Horror #4

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Jason Bone, Walter

Dave: Slimy, green tentacles versus Rocketeer. Really, is there anyway he has a chance? Poor soul probably hasn’t even had the gentle caress of a butt plug yet.

Brendan: I really think we’ve created a monster when it comes to Dave and and this tentacle infatuation. Just the mere sight of curling feelers and dave jumps right to the rape card.

Maybe The Rocketeer is in the jungle, Dave. Maybe those twisted vines just saved his life. We’re going to have to admit you to a clinic.

Russ: I’m not only the president of the Tentacle Rape Rehabilitation Clinic… I’m also a client. And I’ve only had three relapses since 1993!

Mega Man #25

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Jamal Peppers

Brendan: We’ve all wondered what those classic archetype video game villains would have actually done had their dastardly plans ever succeeded. Now we have our answer. They would sip bubbly while romantically frolicing on a tandem bicycle.

If we had known that’s all they wanted, perhaps we would have let them win.

Dave: I’m appalled and surprised to find out Dr. Wily likes to be the caboose so to speak. Also, who toasts while riding a bicycle WITHOUT wearing helmets?!

Dave’s Honorable Mentions

Prophet #35

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Zachary Baldus

Dave: Check out the man in the mound on the right side of the growth. Gnarly! Baldus has painted for us a trippy space scene that deserves to be on every Phish Head’s wall.

Brendan: This cover has an amazing scale to it. We’re brought all the way from the beautiful blue mountain in the foreground up until we’re lost behind the satellite in the stars. I love the gentle, soft colors that were chosen to flesh out this dreamy night scene.

Uncanny X-Force #4

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Kristafer Anka

Dave: The Fantomex clone/twins haven’t gotten nearly enough time in this book. This cover seems to suggest we’ll be getting that, complete with cool 80’s cover.

Brendan: These colors pop! What could have been another boring character cover is saved by Anka’s intelligent design. I dig the pop-art background gradient and the choice to slightly skew the characters’ standing position.

Brendan’s Honorable Mentions

Avenging Spider-Man #20

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Paolo Rivera

Brendan: I love the concept for this cover. Can you name all of our sectionalized characters? I’m not sure I can. I think my favorite part would be that good ol’ Spidey got nothing more than a shoulder piece. It’s a true nod to the fact that a hero is only as good as his supporting cast.

Dave: This reminds me of the famous Todd McFarlane panel with all the famous hands sticking out of the cell, only this time it’s all part of one dude. In this case though, the bars are used to break up the parts of the heroes. Well done, that said, what on earth is that flippery thing on the left?

Russ: After zooming in on the westernmost object on my CSI-esque computer and enhancing it to glorious and preposterous levels of detail, I was able to discern that the object in question is in fact webbing. But why would Spider-Man break Chameleon out of jail? Unless…::cue dramatic music::

Batman and Red Hood #20

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Mick Gray

Brendan: This is another great concept cover. It reminds you that RH and Bats walk an eerily similar path when it comes down to it. After reading the solicit for this issue it leaves you wondering: Is Batman shattering the red mask with his angst, or is the mask forming onto him?

Dave: Now that Bats has lost Damian I think we can safely say both of these characters now hold the same bit of rage and anger. Cool concept.

Brendan’s Cover of the Week

Fever Ridge: A Tale of MacArthur’s Jungle War #3

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Nick Runge

Brendan: This is just a brilliant piece of art. I love the depth provided by the silhouetted treeline in the background and the reddened spears in the foreground. The spears as well as our characters positioning present a fantastic flow that helps move your eyes around the piece so that you’re able to take it all in. The simple yet rich coloring is damn near perfect and the lighting is spot on.

Dave: The red exhibits the dread and death surrounding our heroes, but it also serves as darkness which I love. It’s as if the heroes are illuminated by light, but the darkness isn’t black but red. Very cool.

Dave’s Cover of the Week

Fearless Defenders #4

Comic Book Preview: 5/8/13 - Ass Flaps and Tandem Bicycles

Mark Brooks

Dave: Brooks does it again, this time with cut and paste action figure! I’m glad the hero at center isn’t oversexualized. She still exudes sexiness but it isn’t done tastelessly. Gotta love the doll extra to go with the ensemble.

Brendan: This is another brilliant cover by Brooks. Dave hits the nail on the head with his commentary on how our lady remains plenty sexy without giving the milk away for free. I could be making this up in my mind, but this run of covers seems to have an interesting “women as objects” vibe. Regardless, I think the design is fun and super cool!

Russ: No Belinda, sweety… get those scissors away from Daddy’s Fearless Defenders comic book. No, Valkyrie doesn’t want to “play dress up” right now. Dammit, Daddy paid $4.00 for that. That’s it, this afternoon’s tea party has been CANCELLED young lady.

Comics Being Released This Week

This is a cleaned up list via Comic availability subject to change.

  • BOOM! Studios
  • Bravest Warriors #8, $3.99
  • Grace Randolph’s Supurbia #7, $3.99

  • Dark Horse
  • Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 9 #21, $2.99
  • Creepy Comics #12, $4.99
  • Star Wars #5, $2.99
  • X #1 (Of 4), $2.99

  • Batman #20, $3.99
  • Batman And Red Hood #20, $2.99
  • Batman Arkham Unhinged #14, $3.99
  • Constantine #3, $2.99
  • Deathstroke #20 (Final Issue), $2.99
  • Demon Knights #20, $2.99
  • Green Lantern Corps #20, $2.99
  • Justice League Of America #3, $3.99
  • Katana #4 (Juan Jose Ryp Regular Cover), $2.99
  • Ravagers #12 (Final Issue), $2.99
  • Smallville Season 11 #13, $3.99
  • Suicide Squad #20, $2.99
  • Superboy #20, $2.99
  • Team 7 #8 (Final Issue), $2.99
  • Threshold #5, $3.99

    • IDW
    • Fever Ridge A Tale Of MacArthur’s Jungle War #3 (Of 8), $3.99
    • Memorial Imaginary Fiends #3 (Of 3), $3.99
    • Rocketeer Hollywood Horror #4 (Of 4), $3.99
    • Star Trek #20, $3.99

    • Image Comics
    • Chin Music #1, $2.99
    • Prophet #35, $3.99
    • Storm Dogs #5 (Of 6), $3.50
    • Walking Dead #110, $2.99
    • Witchblade #166, $2.99

    • Alpha Big Time #4 (Of 5), $2.99
    • Astonishing X-Men #62, $3.99
    • Avengers #11, $3.99
    • Avengers Arena #9, $2.99
    • Avengers Assemble #15AU, $3.99
    • Avenging Spider-Man #20, $3.99
    • Castle A Calm Before The Storm #5 (Of 5), $3.99
    • Deadpool #9, $2.99
    • Fearless Defenders #4, $2.99
    • Iron Man #258.2, $3.99
    • Marvel Universe The Avengers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #14, $2.99
    • Secret Avengers #4, $3.99
    • Thor God Of Thunder #8, $3.99
    • Ultimate Comics The Ultimates #24, $3.99
    • Uncanny Avengers #8, $3.99
    • Uncanny X-Force #4, $3.99
    • Wolverine #3, $3.99

    • Valiant Entertainment
    • Archer And Armstrong #0, $3.99
    • Harbinger #12, $3.99

    • Zenescope Entertainment
    • Grimm Fairy Tales Presents Robyn Hood Wanted #1 (Of 5), $2.99

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