Connect with us

Comic Books

Panels in Poor Taste: 6/28/13 – No Sex in the Sarcophagus

Age of Ultron #10AI

Written by Mark Waid | Art by Andre Araujo

Listen to the latest episode of our weekly comics podcast!

Dave: “I’m sorry honey, but I’ve got AIDS. Believe me when I tell you I was faithful, I’ve just been punching tweakers in the brain is all…you gotta believe me!”

Sean: That’s my nickname for my boozy goodness. Brain Punch.

Russ: So you’re telling me you can contract AIDS from brain punching? I’ve got to be more careful.

Jordan: Well as long as you consulted your doctor, I’m sure what you did was perfectly safe.

Patrick: Good lord his face is haunting. Why does he have to look exactly like one of the Hardly Boys from South Park?

“I’m getting a raging clue right now! Hand me a tissue, quick!”

Grimm Fairy Tales #86

Written by Patrick Shand | Art by Ricardo Osnaya

Dave: Where do these women keep their internal organs?

Sean: In their boobs.

Jordan: No no, it’s a combination of both her boobs, hips, and thighs.

Batman: The Dark Knight (2011-) #21

Written by Gregg Hurwitz | Art by Ethan Van Sciver

Dave: No wench, Batman wanted to secretly sleep with a boneless creature like you.

Sean: You have to be careful when you lounge on the piano to sing sultry jazz.

Sometimes, it’ll cost ya.

Jordan: Hey, you fell onto a spotlight! Where did all of those piano keys come from?

Dave: They said this is what would happen if you ate too many jawbreakers, but somebody didn’t listen.

Sean: Jawsome.

Jordan: Batman always throws the best Falcon punches.

Vampirella #30

Written by Brandon Jerwa | Art by Heubert Khan Michael

Dave: What an inappropriate costume for outer space! Why does the dude get to wear baggy clothes? She can’t get something that isn’t so form fitting that her underboob area becomes a sweat sponge?

Sean: What’s with the design above her crotch? Is that where they put her communicator?

Russ: To answer Sean’s question: “Vagina monologue, stardate 6969.9. Our destination is the planet Mianus.” The rest of the transmission is just the sound of lady parts rubbing up against white spandex.

Jordan: Again, another woman shopped at the same store Catwoman got her 90’s uniform from! That business must do well.

Uncanny X-Force Vol. 2 #7

Written by Sam Humphries | Art by Adrian Alphona, Dalibor Talajic

Dave: Now we’re talking! A mutant themed sex dungeon in Madripoor complete with female versions of male heroes! Now that’s what I call kink.

Sean: Been there, done Wolverina.

Russ: Damn, that must be one hell of a shoulder rub mustachioed Gilbert Gottfried is getting from Cyclopea.

Jordan: Now kids, this is what we call Rule 63: “for every fictional character, there exists a counterpart of opposite gender.” The more you know.

Lazarus #1

Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Michael Lark

Dave: Lark sure makes this felt. Before every moment there’s a moment…and it’s a meaty one.

Sean: And that’s why you don’t bring a sledgehammer to a knife fight. Idiot.

Jordan: Damn, you popped his red dyed water balloon underneath his shirt! How else do you explain the blood exploding out of him?

Sex #4

Written by Joe Casey | Art by Piotr Kowalski

Dave: I don’t get why this dude looks so odd. Is he supposed to be wrinkly or is it a skin disease? Either way it makes the sex in Sex no bueno.

Sean: Is she blowing a mummy?

Jordan: If so, she should return him back to his sarcophagus in the city’s local museum before they notice he’s missing.

Russ: The only person to take Kanye’s spit, “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?/ I put the p---y in a sarcophagus” literally.

Patrick: I don’t read this comic. Why is a leprous Mahatma Gandhi getting blown in a sauna?

King Conan: Hour of the Dragon #2

Written by Timothy Truman | Art by Tomás Giorello

Dave: Rule number 47.5 of battle. Do not ever kill a man’s sex squire. Their weakness shall not be a threat to you or any man unless you consider ruby star fruit a threat.

Sean: “My most powerful bottom, NOOOOOO!”

Jordan: Wow, that guy’s head is quite intact for taking a hit like that. People were certainly tougher back in olden times.


In Case You Missed It

Netflix sets release date for new Steve Carell comedy, ‘Space Force’


The Walking Dead Season 10 Episode 15 ‘The Tower’ Recap/Review


HBO releases 500 hours of programming for free


IDW puts ‘G.I. Joe’ & ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ titles on hiatus

Comic Books

Newsletter Signup