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Panels in Poor Taste: 9/20/2013 – Unsatisfying Sex and Cauliflower Ear

Wonder Woman #23.1: Featuring Cheetah

Written by John Ostrander | Art by Victor Ibanez

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Dave: What’s more disturbing: the fact that she’ll never be able to breastfeed, or that her little belt gives her permission to run around like Porky Pig?

Jordan: Dave, she does have nipples. They are like the Red Hulk’s mustache, they just disappear when she’s in that form. Once she’s out of it, they’ll reappear like magic!

Six Gun Gorilla #4

Written by Si Spurrier | Art by Jeff Stokely

Dave: Yeeesh, those teeth give me nightmares.

Alex: Dr. Doom needs a gun that shoots his name. I’m actually kind of surprised he doesn’t already have one.

Jordan: Hey, I want a gun that shoots ominous sound effects! Where do I get one?

Suckers #1

Written by Pat Shand | Art by Ian McGinty

Dave: AIDS as revenge. Disturbing!

Uncanny X-Men #12

Written by Brian Michael Bendis | Art by Chris Bachalo

Dave: So you’re saying Cyclops is thinking about having sex with a teenage Jean Grey? Uhhh, I think we know who the villain is now.

Alex: Magneto’s eyes have gotten really beady lately.

Jordan: I think Cyclops is talking in his sleep. Seriously, he looks asleep!

Dave: What they should be doing is groaning.

Alex: I’m no physicist, but that shirt must be held together by telekinesis or magnets or something.

Jordan: Bah, bras are for suckers.

Thor: God of Thunder #13

Written by Jason Aaron | Art by Ron Garney

Dave: Aww, don’t throw it away! That’d go great in a salad!

Sam: I never liked that tongue anyway.

Jordan: Sir, that’s really not going to help your sense of taste.

New Avengers #10

Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Mike Deodato

Dave: Since when is Thanos so high and mighty his semen gets its own “the” prefix?

Alex: Everything Thanos does gets a “the” on it because it’s so evil. He once took a dump at a space truckstop, they had to quarantine the area because of all the time demons flying about and they renamed the whole area “The Thanos Deuce Pit.” My question is, since when can Black Bolt talk in whole sentences? I would assume that he just destroyed half a planet with this exposition.

Jordan: ::Snores:: Oh… sorry, this is important or something, right?

Savage Wolverine #8

Written by Zeb Wells | Art by Joe Madureira

Dave: Cauliflower ear sighting! Everybody wants it, amirite ladies?

Sam: I want cauliflower cheek like this guy!

Zero #1

Written by Ales Kot | Art by Michael Walsh

Dave: Behold: the amazingly unsexy world of real life sex.

Alex: This is why proper nutrition is important, kiddos. He wouldn’t have had this problem if he had a banana and a glass of water before starting. Woulda saved him this scene, and the awkward followup: “you still wanna do this spontaneous sex thing? No? …Okay, I’ll be in the bedroom…”

Jordan: We interrupt your regularly scheduled comic to bring you sex. Very ugly, boner-killing sex. You’re welcome!

Justice League #23.3

Written by China Mieville | Art by Zak Smith

Jordan: Well hello, Huldra! Awfully far away from Scandinavia, aren’t you?

Dave: Besides getting beaten, what does Pinata do? I’m gonna take a guess and say spits balls out like that new X-Man in Uncanny X-Men.

Caption Contest Winner From 9/13/2013: bloodhands!

Congratulations to the ominously eponymous bloodhands, composing the comment he was ostensibly born to write.

bloodhands: I’m glad she asked AFTER she massacred that woman. That way there’s more…blood on your hands!

This Week’s Panels in Poor Taste Caption Contest

Each week, we provide a panel in need of a caption. You, the reader, submit your caption in the comments section below, and AiPT readers vote for their favorite. The captions with the most upvotes will win, and your panel will appear in next week’s edition of Panels in Poor Taste.

Happy captioning!

Swamp Thing #23.1

Written by Charles Soule | Art by Jesus Saiz

Enter your caption in the comments below!


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