Panels in Poor Taste: 3/21/2014 – Shark Dropkicks and Squishy Squirrels

Panels in Poor Taste was on a hiatus for a week, but fear not! We have returned to bring you the most deranged, vile, and batshit insane panels of the past two weeks! Enjoy:

Batman #29

Written by Scott Snyder | Art by Greg Capullo

Dave: So basically all Batman needs is some nail clippers and this dude is toast?

Dog: Did that anthropomorphic dust bunny ask Batman for a happy ending?

Sean: “I meant jerk me off! I WANTED YOU TO JERK ME OFF!”

Sam: Sean, I think that just requires a nail file.

Stray Bullets: Killers #1

Written by David Lapham | Art by David Lapham

Dave: I wonder if he saw that coming.

Dog: Someone needs to tell Mickey Rourke that’s not how you shell oysters. That someone will not be me.

Sean: I don’t know if dropping the knife has the same appeal as dropping the mic. Bro, you’re just leaving the murder weapon? Although, this is the same man who shucked a dude’s eyes out in broad daylight.

Witchblade #173

Written by Ron Marz | Art by Stjepan Sejic

Dog: “What makes you say that? I eradicate my subjects’ cutaneous tissue as a reward.”

Dave: We at the Tomato Information Think Tank Lobbyist, otherwise known as Tit-T, deserve another panel showing how he went from flesh and blood to skeleton with tomato sauce. Chef Boyardee requires all tomato deaths in clear and understandable panels, please!

Sean: “YAAAH!” Really? Dude makes the same noise having his flesh explode off his person as I make when my cat startles me in a room.

Jordan: Hmm… I do think she took some offense.

Sam: No way man, no way that is real Siracha. It doesn’t even look real!

East of West #10

Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta

Dog: “From this point hence, it is I who will get the big piece of chicken.”

Dave: Now that’s “gut busting!” ::rimshot::

Sean: Who knew his dad’s insides were made of those sticky hand things?

The Witcher #1

Dave: Why the long breast? (A play on long face…GET IT?!)

Dog: She’s like Jar Jar Binks’ hillbilly grandmother. “Meesa make moonshine in bathtub!”

Sean: Tasty Dead, the new fast food chain for the cannibal on the go.

The Six Million Dollar Man: Season 6 #1

Written by Jim Kuhoric | Art by Juan Antonio Ramirez

Sean: The Six Million dollar man has an unfair advantage, ‘cuz that Great White shark is obese.

Dave: I’d say he just jumped the shark but it looks more like a dropkick of the shark which may or may not be a bad thing. Let me check my pop culture guide and get back to you.

Dog: I think “dropkicking the shark” is the term used to describe how “jump the shark” has itself jumped the shark. Which will in turn soon be diminished by “slapping the porpoise” and then “chopping the octopus.”

Jordan: Any comic that has guy fighting a shark with just his fists is instantly awesome.

Beasts of Burden: Hunters and Gatherers

Written by Evan Dorkin | Art by Jill Thompson

Sean: “I’m sorry, what was that bitch?”

Dave: The one time a squirrel doesn’t use branches to escape and he turns into a nice strawberry jam.

Dog: Good, now that dog knows what it’s like to step in a mess. I guess karma does exist. Not sure what the squirrel’s being punished for, though. Coveting another’s nuts?

Jordan: Sorry, no one is safe from going splunch today.

Sam: This week on Beasts of Burden we learn what Black Friday is like in the animal kingdom.

Ten Grand #8

Written by J. Michael Straczynski | Art by C.P. Smith

Sean: Wallace looks sketched the fuck out.

Sam: Compose yourself. Literally.