Tales from the Con #2
written by Brad Guigar | Art by Chris Giarrusso
Dog: “Shot,” “shat;” what’s a vowel movement between friends?
Dave: I hope J.J. Abrams uses more potty humor like this comic does in the new Star Wars movie. #thePrequelsNeededMorePoop
Oh c’mon…we all know it was Leia.
John: Yea definitely was Leia. Have you ever smelled decaying butterflies? Absolutely horrendous!
Superman/Batman Annual #2
written by Greg Pak | Art by Various
Dave: The Bat Brain Blaster™ just never caught on…
Dog: Every year, as many as two bat-human hybrids die in sewer gas explosions in America. If you’re a bat-human hybrid, always monitor the subsurface atmosphere before entering a manhole.
God is Dead #31
Written by Mike Costa | Art by Emiliano Urdinola
Dave: This panel is simply jaw dropping.
Nick: You know it’s bad when not even the dentistry of God Himself can get the stank out of your mouth.
John: A spoonful of sugar helps the old man go down.
Tech Jacket #9
Written by Joe Keetinge | Art by Khary Randolph
Dave: Whoever designed this costume clearly had two things in mind. Circle the breasts and box in her box.
Nick: I think she’s yelling at her nipples.
Dog: I found the Easter eggs! Two days early!
The Blood Queen vs Dracula #2
Written by Troy Brownfield and Art by Kewber Baal
Dave: Pantene Pro V’s new blood wicking shampoo really does work. Also, no curls!
John: Every woman has an inner goddess. Get your goddess showing with our brand new BloodGel.
Nick: Good thing her hair is FCC compliant.
God Hates Astronauts #7
Written by Ryan Browne and Art by Aaron Conley
Dog: I’ll guess “finding a stranger in the Alps” is some kind of sex act, and Star Farter was not consenting.
Dave: I imagine with his head flying he’s saying, “Tombstoned” but I could be wrong. Translations are finicky beasts.
Nick: You know what’s not resting in peace? Racial stereotypes.
The Ghost Fleet #6
Written by Donny Cates | Art by Daniel Warren Johnson
Dave: Usually when my ear is blown off I’m not so easily sidetracked from my horrific wails and screams of pain.
Nick: Usually when my ear is blown off, it doesn’t spew Velveeta cheese. I wish it did, though…
Dog: Guns don’t pierce ears, Jethro Itchytrigger pierces ears. With a gun. In the courtyard of his survivalist compound. Two-for-one special on Thursdays!
Rat God #3
Written by Richard Corben | Art by Richard Corben
Dave: The baby bird kiss is one of the messier sex moves in the Karma Sutra.
Dog: If you’re already getting it on with hypothermic, transgender Moe Howard, I expect you’re down for anything.
Nick: So if he starts puking, too, will their vomit mix together and turn green?
Written by David Hine | Art by Nahuel Lopez
Dave: Coincidentally I make the same face as that lion when I chew into a Fruit Gusher.
Nick: I make the same face as that girl when I poop after eating Fruit Gushers. Also, my poop turns blue like the girl’s vomit from the panel before this one.
Dog: I make the same face as that puppy after the seventh shot of tequila. And that’s pretty much how my guts feel, too.
Graveyard Shift #4
Written by Jay Faerber | Art by Fran Bueno
Dave: Carla always seemed to insist on the torture spear if she was going to join in on a threesome. Frankly I’m not surprised most dudes are okay with it…until they’re dead that is.
Nick: Those who have always wondered, this is the closest visual representation I’ve ever seen to ‘The Boston Tickler.’
John: And you thought you had a big spear?
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