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Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review

Comic Books

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review

Larry Hama’s tough as nails team of bullet throwing and quip tossing special forces bros are back for issue three, but is it any good?

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 (Dark Horse Comics)

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review
“Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Does your bike have spokes bro?”

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We’re back from the icy tundra of last issue and into Budapest and Somalia, for some good old fashioned head shots, sexed up enemies, and dialog that would be cut short by bullets in about .0002 seconds.

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review
“Spoot.” Indeed.

Now, that’s not a complete bad thing. This issue is a step up from the last in that while it once again contains characters that I honestly can’t tell from one another, long winded enemies, and amazing sound effect deaths, it’s actually getting somewhere plot wise…kinda. FINE IT’S A TOTAL GUILTY PLEASURE.

Let’s break it down. We’ve got two teams of Special Forces (like G.I. Joes, but without the lawsuit), in two different countries trying to track down two female arms dealer psychopaths—they originally thought was just one woman, but they now know they were being played.

One of the evil women gets into a Somali warlord’s compound with a very novel entry method, and like every other issue in this series, “then s--t gets real.”

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review
“Well she seems nice.”

Is It Good?

I honestly don’t care anymore. This now feels to me like a Michael Bay like flick, where as long as the explosions are cool and the deaths are gory, I really don’t care if there is any character development. Think back, for those of you who saw the first Transformers: what was the name of the redhead G.I. who was from Boston, who gets killed by the awesome scorpion desert Decepticon?

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review
Honestly? We’re quipping about grain silos? YOU’RE IN A GUN-FI…oh forget it.

No clue? Me neither. Does it matter? NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. IT WAS STILL AWESOME JUST LIKE A GUY USING FLOUR TO KILL TERRORISTS.

I’ll give this one a 7.5 out of 10. The ending is so abrupt I thought I was missing pages, and the plot once again suffers from Hama not having very distinct characters like he had on the Joes who you could visually identify, but it’s kind of a fun ride of explosions and death.

I do want to call out one specific panel that is just amazing:

Call of Duty: Black Ops III #3 Review
HOW DOES THIS GUY HAVE TIME TO SAY ALL OF THIS? MARKMANSHIP?

No one cares! THIS GUY SHOULD ALREADY BE SHOT.

At this point, I’m going to read these until they stop making ’em, because screw it. I’m having fun.

I’m honestly excited for the next issue, just because this is the print version of what I imagine Stallone’s dreams are like. BRING IT.

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