Movies need a character for audiences to root against. It takes the fun out of movies when you have no idea who to get behind. Then there are the characters that just make you wince at the sound of their voice. Sometimes, even the best films will have that one character that will makes you roll your eyes. You may even LIKE the character. You cringe because you care. Here are the cringiest charters in movie history.
Jason Melon – Back to School (1986)
On the most recent episode of Adventures in Movies! above, we talked about the awesomeness of Thorton Melon and 1986’s Back to School. We also touched on how awful his son is. The pros of the movie outweigh the cons of the character, but make no mistake about it, Jason Melon sucks. He is whiny, jealous of his great dad, and thinks drinking away his feelings and yelling at people solves all his problems. Even Rodney Dangerfield couldn’t help this poor fool.
Charlie Kelmeckis – Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)
Another movie we talked about on this week’s episode. This was is painfully simple. Charlie has nothing going for him. He is a sad sack who is defined solely by how awful his life his. On top of that, he wants to be a writer. What follows is almost two hours of simpering nonsense that passes as deep philosophy. It is objectively and infinitely terrible.
Max Fischer – Rushmore (1988)
Rushmore is a fantastic movie. Directed by a young Wes Anderson, the movie is about a high school boy, his older friend, and their mutual attraction for a teacher. Before Max learns the error of his ways he spreads a rumor about getting a handjob from a fellow student’s mom. He also fakes being hit by a car to get someone to feel sorry for him. A great movie, but Max can be pretty bad.
Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City 2 (2010)
Sex and the City is all about the problems of Carrie and her friends. On some level, they can even be interesting. This sequel is not one of those cases. The issue here? Carrie’s husband Mr. Big is awful to Carrie. He actually just wants to hang out with his wife and be in love. No drama, no fights, nothing. Just be a happy couple. Carrie has no choice but to travel across the world to get away from the selfish brute.
Madea Simmons – Everything she is in (2005 – 2019)
Where to start? The corny jokes that are the definition of low hanging fruit? The borderline minstrel act that is offensive to all races? The lazy writing? The weird mix of lowbrow comedy in ultra serious situations? Options are usually a good thing, but not in this case. The bane of critics and anyone over the age of six, Madea seems to try to be as offensively unfunny as possible. And she succeeds every time.
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