Over the last week or so, we’ve unveiled a slew of new features aimed at providing a different kind of spotlight for our favorite comics creators. Following the debut editions of Post-Game, A Day in the Life, and Fill in the Blank, we’re now unveiling the Really Dumb Pop Culture Questionnaire. As its name might suggest, it’s a fun and frivolous way for creators to share their most asinine opinions on all things pop culture. Because being dumb doesn’t mean something still isn’t valuable. (Usually.)
To debut this feature, we’ve enlisted writer Kieron Gillen, a pop culture dynamo who knows a thing or two about the marriage of the cerebral and the silly. Gillen’s long list of credits include Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt, Die, The Wicked + The Divine, and Star Wars, among countless others. For more of his wit, be sure to follow him on Twitter @kierongillen.
If you could eat dinner with one fictional character, who would it be and why?
The Devil, as I’m into long spoons.
If they made a movie of your life, who would you cast as yourself? And your love interest?
I’m a big fan of this kind of game, but I normally do it less as actors (as I have no memory for faces or names or anything to be honest) and more characters. As in, we no adaptation is ever faithful, so it’s really what sort of character you would be cast as. The other thing about doing it like that is that it’s always contextual, as characters don’t exist outside their stories, and stories have their own weight and need.
I suspect we did this most in the days I co-founded the excellent PC games site, Rock Paper Shotgun. Alec, John, Jim (now co-writing The Ludocrats with me) and myself would do it all the time. If I had to explain myself, in terms of how I tend to exist I’d choose two, which triangulate a portrait of me.
Everyone agreed if you did the RPS story in the mode of The Wire, I’d be McNulty. However everyone also agreed that if we filmed RPS in the mode of Seinfeld, I’d be Kramer.
So the question becomes is it a 24 Hour Party People-style adaptation, or a Control-style adaptation of me?
Let’s be honest. If you did want to film me, you’d film it as the former, as I am f-----g ridiculous and should be laughed at as much as I am laughed with.
Which is a long way of saying “I have no idea” then followed up with, “Maybe Frankie Boyle?”
Boyle and myself turned a corner at a dinner once, and I think we both thought it was a mirror.
My love interest would be a mirror.
You wake up one day in a 1970s novel. Which do you choose and why?
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, because I was once a journalist, goddammit.
What’s the one piece of art that you wish you could claim authorship of?
I’d like to be able to claim authorship of any work of art. One would be nice.
(Serious answer: I’m presently envious of each of the Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children novellas, as they are precisely my jam.)
What’s the one book or film title that could describe your life?
I’m looking around the room right now, to see if any of them fit the bill…
Jeff Noon’s Needle in the Groove catches my eye. That’s work.
Who would make a better best friend: Han Solo or James Bond. And why?
Han Solo. He’s hard work, is full of all manner of nonsense, but when it came down to it, he came through when his friends really needed him. If you were James Bond’s friend, you’d just end up murdered.
What one famous pop culture house would you live in and why?
The Rapture’s House of Jealous Lovers because AIIRIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHTTTTTTTT!!!!!! SHAKE DOWN!!!!!!
You can adapt any of your works into a film but you have to cast Matthew McConaughey as the lead. Which one and why?
Three. He’d do well at the brooding violence of Klaros.
What villain or hero would you move from one franchise into another and why?
Unit, from the X-Men to any franchise I’m presently writing, because then I’d be able to actually finish a story with that yappy robot. I really wanted to get that guy murdered!
You’re a supervillain — what’s the first city you try and take over (and why)?
London, because I’m there, and if supervillains are defined by their moral weakness, mine is incredible laziness.
You can speak like one of the characters you’ve created. Who do you pick and why?
I’m reminded of the lyric of top ’90s Romo band Orlando, “Afraid again, you lie there regretting/That people never speak like, or look like, the way they write.”
Which is a shame, but I’ve just realized it’s off, as a bunch of people speak like they write. It’s easy to do when you write badly. Or poorly. Or whatever one it is.
Where was I? Bar half way up my own ass?
I would like to speak like Dionysus from The Wicked + The Divine, as I would like to be better at being kind. I would also like to know what that wibbly coloring that Clayton gave him looks like. But mainly the kindness.
You have to cook a fancy dinner for one famous writer/artist. Who do you pick and what are you making?
Jamie McKelvie, as it’s been ages, and I miss him. I will be making him cheese on toast, but fancy cheese on toast.
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