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Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with 'Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory' kits
dissentpins.com

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Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with ‘Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory’ kits

So THAT’s how they come up with so many.

There are seemingly so many conspiracy theories these days, that it makes you wonder where they all come from. Thankfully, we know that AI chatbots aren’t quite up to the task of weaving together threads of just-believable-enough nonsense — yet. But if the chronically online can turn the gibberish of Q drops into ironclad narrative and prophecy, maybe you can too, with the help of a Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory Kit!

A Pennsylvania company called Dissent Pins makes three different sets with over 450 magnetic tiles each, printed with words and phrases most beloved by conspiracy-mongers, plus some punctuation and “normal” words to fill out your sentences. You can buy one for $24.95, or currently you can get all three for $56.95.

We cracked open the slim box of “Bigfoot and Chemtrails and UFOs, Oh My!” to see if we can finally divine the truth that THEY don’t want you to know.

When you first slide the cover off, you’re immediately greeted with an instruction card on how to “Make Your Own Tinfoil Hat” and, yes, a sizeable sheet of actual aluminum foil to craft and shape. What do they think I am; some kind of crackpot?!

Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with 'Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory' kits

Below this unwarranted INSULT are eight big sheets of magnetic tiles, divided into groups of words and phrases of similar lengths. You’ve got your “The Royal Family” and “Denver International Airport” sheet, all the way down to one that has mostly conjunctions, modifiers, and punctuation. There’s a good mix of lunacy here, but it’s hard not to think a few more verbs could be useful, to give your makeshift conspiracies some ACTION.

Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with 'Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory' kits

You can actually pull the individual magnets apart pretty easily, while still leaving the rest of the sheet mostly intact. Manifestos aren’t written in a day, after all. Given their small size, don’t expect to hold any declassified documents up against your fridge door with these, and make sure to smooth them out once applied, as the longer magnets can curl up at the edges. Darker surfaces are better for contrast, but then again, it’s the MESSAGE that counts, not the presentation.

Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with 'Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory' kits

Whether you want to “control authoritarian propaganda in plain sight,” or “wake up Ancient Sumeria through Jersey Devil mind control,” “Bigfoot and Chemtrails and UFOs, Oh My!” gives you the raw materials you need. Throw your magnets down, move them around, and don’t think too hard about it. The truth will come out!

Other products sold by Dissent Pins include a brand new “Cryptid Construction Kit.”

Dissent Pins makes nonsense manageable with 'Build Your Own Conspiracy Theory' kits

“What does it MEAN?!”

Dissent Pins donates 50% of their profits to causes and charities they believe in, including Razom for Ukraine, the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, local food banks, and many, many more. To date, they have donated more than $1 million.

AIPT Science is co-presented by AIPT and the New York City Skeptics.

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