Witchblade #176
Written by Ron Marz | Art by Laura Braga
Dave: Now that’s what I call fisting.
Dog: This must be the pointiest page in the history of comics. I’d be afraid of papercuts just handling it.
Chaos #3
Written by Tim Seeley | Art by Mirka Andolfo
Dave: Jack Kirby Rule #47: Never miss an opportunity for a side boob shot. NEVER.
Dog: One guy screws up and now everyone has to watch front axle impalement videos when applying for a motorcycle license.
Scum of the Earth #1
Written by Mark Bertolini | Art by Rob Croonenborghs
Dave: Deleted scene from The Good, The Bad, and the Spaghetti Head.
Dog: Another intact eyeball ejection! Is this something 21st century “How to Draw Comics” books really harp on? “You’ll never work if you can’t do an IEE!”
Robocop #1
Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Carlos Magno
Dog: “You wanna draw Robocop? Lots of IEEs.”
Dave: Now that’s what I call an ocular patdown.
Sidekick #7
Written by J. Michael Straczynski | Art by Tom Mandrake
Dave: Air traffic control must be pissed about this one.
Dog: It’s like that scene from E.T., except there’s no bicycle and the basket is his crotch.
The Field #3
Written by Ed Brisson | Art by Simon Roy
Dave: I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the bat’leth being used to maim or that load in the dude’s underwear.
Dog: I guess when we finally decided to become a soccer country this year, hooliganism was part of the deal. Nice to see we could add the guns and dead animals for our own, nationalistic style. Happy Independence Day!
Lazarus #9
Written by Greg Rucka | Art by Michael Lark
Dave: Jesus guy, just stab her and be done with it, don’t fondle her kidneys!
Dog: “Give me your tired, your poor, your tangled intestines yearning to spill free.” USA USA USA!
Hack/Slash: Son Of Samhain #1
Written by Michael Moreci | Art by Steve Seeley
Dave: Nightmare fuel.
Dog: I’ll be damned, the worms DO play pinochle on your snout.
East of West #13
Written by Jonathan Hickman | Art by Nick Dragotta
Dave: Maybe cover him up with a sheet or something? Kind of intimate seeing his esophagus and all.
Dog: “Yeah, yeah, dead dad; where did you get that placental bean bag chair? I need a birthday gift for a biology student.”
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