Omega Man #1
Written by Tom King | Art by Baranby Bagenda, Jose Marzan Jr. | Chocolatey Goodness by Twix | Smolder by Nick Lachey
Dog: Need a Moment? Or a mop?
Man vs. Rock: The alien forgot that his species is not resistant to heat exceeding 98 degrees (I’ll show myself out …).
No Mercy #3
Written by Alex De Campi | Art by Carla McNeil
Dog: My stinking, decomposing friend who stays in the backyard. Underneath the flower beds.
Dave: Fun fact: For years these were the magic words Wolverine’s teammates had to say to make him heal. The PR people thought it’d help little kids relate to him, but it just came off as creepy.
Nick: It’s sad to think this same scene will be playing out at the Playboy Mansion soon.
Man vs. Rock: The doctors had warned Kim Kardashian that there might some negative side effects to her latest butt lift, but no one expected this.
Ghost Fleet #8
Written by Donny Cates | Art by Daniel Warren Johnson
Dave: The human pinata is a rare occurrence in the wild.
Dog: Bet you wish NYC hadn’t outlawed those squeegee guys now, huh?
John: They totally missed on the Krackel sound effects.
Nick: Really wish the artist had drawn a walk signal blinking in the background of the second panel.
Man vs. Rock: The NFL ultimately suspended the bus driver two weeks for killing those thirty civilians.
The Covenant #1
Written by Rob Liefeld | Art by Matt Horak
Dave: Even gods must eat the soft fleshy goodness of the eyeball!
Nick : An eyeball gets destroyed, but we never see it from behind the lid. Well played…
Dog: Who convinced Alfred E. Neuman to become a Pentecostal snake-handler?!
Man vs. Rock: One day you’re adjusting life insurance, the next day you’re chained to a pole while one of the guys from Duck Dynasty feeds you to a snake.
Written by Joshua Williamson | Art by Mike Henderson
Dave: Nailbiter, meet Stump Biter. Hmm, doesn’t quite work as well for his title.
Nick: *puts down chicken wing*
Man vs. Rock: That’s disgusting! Eating a human arm without Worcester sauce?! Some editor should be fired for this.
Big Man Plans #3
Written by Tim Wiesch and Eric Powell | Art by Eric Powell
Dave: Welcome to my dentist nightmare. Yes, it involved a midget ripping out my entire top jaw. What of it?!
Nick: Bart Simpson fights back.
Man vs. Rock: The old man could not answer the question of when dragons would finally reach Westeros, and was duly punished…
Written by Keenan Marshall Keller | Art by Tom Neely
Dog: Mt. Hurt Rock? Mothra Track? I’m terrible at figuring out vanity plates.
Dave: Scientists theorized apes had intestines for spinal cords. It took a Mack truck to reach a conclusion but it was worth it. The scientific method does come in handy.
John: Who collects all of these eyeballs that keep popping out of all of these sockets? I’m waiting for a panel with a giant pile of eyeballs.
Nick: I like how the other eye…the one that’s still attached…doesn’t look the least bit surprised at its host’s current predicament.
Man vs. Rock: I’d like to see those idiots who say there’s no diversity in comics complain now!
Written by Robert Kirkman | Art by Ryan Ottley
Dog: Guy’s got a stomach full of undigested Starburst.
Dave: “Get a tummy tuck they said. It’d be great for your health they said!”
Man vs. Rock : The most faithful reenactment I’ve ever seen of that Full House episode where Uncle Jesse disembowels Joey Gladstone.
Like what we do here at AIPT? Consider supporting us and independent comics journalism by becoming a patron today! In addition to our sincere thanks, you can browse AIPT ad-free, gain access to our vibrant Discord community of patrons and staff members, get trade paperbacks sent to your house every month, and a lot more. Click the button below to get started!